The butterflies flying away into the fall sky represented the survivors and victims of domestic abuse. But about half the butterflies remained behind in the box, perhaps serving as a reminder of those who still live in domestic abuse.

The fifth annual Domestic Abuse Candlelight Vigil was held Thursday night at New Denmark Park. The butterflies represented victims of domestic abuse, and they represent how fragile life can be and how it can also be capable of transformation.

“As much as this is remembering people who have lost their lives, we want to also offer that sense of hope that people survive domestic abuse,” said Ilene Grosam, a victims’ advocate with the Crime Victim Crisis Center. “Working together as a community, we can also prevent domestic violence so we don’t have to keep having candlelight vigils every year.”

More than 60 people attended the event meant to honor and remember people who’ve lost their lives to domestic abuse and the survivors of domestic abuse. In 2008, at least 35 people died in Minnesota due to domestic abuse: 21 women, seven children, two men and five family members.

The names of the 35 victims were read and their stories were posted on purple tag board along the sidewalk.

Jody Lee Marrow wasn’t named because her alleged murder investigation is still pending. However, a special candle was lit with her name beside it.

Albert Lea police officer David Miller said the last three homicides in Albert Lea have been related to domestic abuse. Miller did not say that Marrow’s death counted as one of the three.

“It’s a crime that can be stopped. It’s a crime that needs to be stopped,” Miller said. “One of the few things that we as humans all share is that we’re going to be in relationships at one point or another. We’re a social animal. Nobody deserves to be in a relationship that’s abusive verbally or physically.”

A big step to stopping domestic violence is being open and talking about it. Miller said people shouldn’t pretend it’s not happening.

Andrea Strom, who works in adult probation with Freeborn County, said the entire community needs to be involved in preventing domestic violence.

“It’s important to me to get the word out to the community that it takes all of us to put an end to this. It’s not just up to the police, the court systems can’t stop it, victims can’t stop it on their own. We need the whole community,” Strom said.

Grosam said domestic abuse is a health issue that affects the community.

“We’ve heard a lot about the Blue Zones and community health and having healthy family relationships is certainly a part of that,” Grosam said.

Dan Thiner, a Candlelight Vigil Committee member, said people need to remember that children are secondary victims of spousal abuse.

“Raising awareness of domestic abuse is making people think not only of the victims that were lost, but the entire family,” said Thiner, who is also Hugs co-chairman of Helping Us Grow Safely, a Freeborn County group to prevent child abuse.

Spousal abuse greatly affects the children involved in the relationships because they can become caught between the parents.

To help prevent domestic abuse, Thiner said it’s important for people to be aware of when it happens, not shun it.

Not only is it important for people to understand domestic violence takes lives, but people need to know domestic violence takes away childhoods of those who come from homes with domestic abuse, said Jeannie Jackson, executive director of Group Support Services.

Jackson is a foster mother, and she said all of her 32 foster children have been affected by domestic abuse. She said the children’s experiences with domestic abuse affect their behavior, their education, their social skills and their overall development. Instead, these children focus on surviving an abusive home.

“When you live with domestic violence, it teaches you what male role models are and female role models. It teaches you trust or not to trust. It completely changes the dynamics of a healthy growing up pattern,” Jackson said.

Jackson said that the whole month of October is dedicated to preventing domestic violence; it’s not just limited to one night.

“We’re coming together to make a stance that Albert Lea is a very healthy place to live, and we are going to work toward non-violence and we are committed to that,” Jackson said.