I had to buy a book of stamps the other day. They had pictures of antique toys on them, which made me realize just how many different designs they’ve had on stamps. We’ve seen images ranging from presidents to cartoon characters to entertainers in the upper right comer of our mail. Though the United States Postal Service has certainly used their imagination in coming up with new designs, I have a few ideas of my own.

The first thing the USPS should do is start thinking outside the box. Who ever said the stamps have to be rectangular? Other countries have stamps in all kinds of shapes. So should we. If they made them into triangles, they could fit twice as many in each book – and they would still fit nicely where they belong. Round stamps, on the other hand, would be somewhat less practical.

One idea virtually guaranteed to interest collectors would be a series of stamps featuring all 50 states &045; in the shape of the states they represent. They could even draw them to scale. Then again, that would be unfair. The stamps for states like Rhode Island and Delaware would likely be used for postcards, whereas Texas and Alaska would be used for mailing large packages.

Another thing they should do is have stamps that have part of a picture on them, and you have to collect the different stamps in the series and put them together to find out what the picture is. They’d have to release the stamps individually, though, or it would defeat the purpose. However, that would get old after a while. After three or four different completed pictures, a lot of people would get bored with the whole thing and just send e-mail instead. To keep up interest, they could team up with a restaurant and give you a postcard, marking it off every time you bought stamps. When you fill the card you’d get a free Whopper at Burger King (or something like that).

Similarly, they could release &uot;flip book&uot; stamps, for people who have to send out hundreds of items at a time &045; such as newlyweds sending thank-you notes, or Mal Prinzing mailing out anti-referendum materials. That way, when the stack of letters is ready to send, they could flip through all of the envelopes and watch a little cartoon.

They could also offer premium stamps, featuring holographic images. Wouldn’t it be kind of cool to get a letter with a George Washington stamp that would smile and blink his eyes, depending on what angle you held the envelope at? Or, perhaps you’d prefer to see the American flag actually appear to fly in the wind. Either would be pretty cool, if you ask me. Who knows? Maybe they could even come up with a Harry Houdini stamp that would actually work its way free from the envelope.

I think the USPS should let us design our own stamps. After all, we’re the ones paying for and using them. We should get to design them, too. You know how at some discount stores they have those booths where you can have your picture superimposed onto stickers? Stamps could work the same way. Wouldn’t Grandma and Grandpa get a kick out of getting letters featuring a stamp of the kids driving a race car, or better yet, behind bars? I’d bet that this would be such a popular service they could even charge extra for it.

One final note: Remember how horrible the glue on the back of the stamps used to taste? Apparently enough people voiced their concerns, because pretty much all the stamps now feature an adhesive backing, like stickers. They say they’re self-adhesive, but I’m not sure that’s an accurate description. I have yet to buy stamps that peel and stick themselves to the envelope. Anyway, although it still isn’t exactly tasty, the backing doesn’t taste anywhere near as bad as it used to. The only problem is that licking them seems to keep them from sticking now. Oh well. I guess you can’t have your stamp and lick it too.

Dustin Petersen is an Albert Lea resident. His column appears Tuesdays.