Column: The wet and wild world of those water parks
Published 12:00 am Friday, July 15, 2005
Not too many years ago Wisconsin Dells was a real recreation destination for folks during the warmer months of the year. In that era the local attractions were based on boat rides to see the scenic Upper Dells, amphibian vehicle rides (the &uot;Ducks&uot;) to tour the Lower Dells, the Tommy Bartlett water-ski shows, and the usual enticements in and near what can be best described as a tacky tourist-trap town. Then during the colder months of the year the town became just another dull and quiet Midwest community.
This all changed a few years ago when several of the large hotels or motels set up indoor water parks. Now Wisconsin Dells has evolved into a year-round destination
for families. These parks have tube slides, chutes, wave pools, funnel slides, watery roller coasters,
raft rides, fake facilities for indoor surfing and body-boarding, lily pad walks, and just plain tubing. In fact, this resort area is even calling itself the &uot;Water Park Capital
of the world.&uot;
What has evolved are the equivalent of daytime and nighttime indoor amusement parks based on water. And, come to think of it, where can one be wearing a swimming suit and enjoying a ride on a fake river while a blizzard is raging outside and the nearby river is frozen over?
The water needed for this multitude of water parks in and around
Wisconsin Dells doesn’t seem to be a problem. After all, the Wisconsin River and several nearby lakes have more than enough water available to flow through these wet and wild wonders.
One list I found has 14 places in and near Wisconsin Dells with water parks. For some unexplained reason, this same guide lists each watery wonder by the square foot. The largest one in the world at the present time is at the Kalahari Water Park Resort and Convention Center and it’s 125,000 square feet in size.
The Kalahari firm also has another water park resort and convention center in Sandusky, Ohio. This city on Lake Erie to the west of
Cleveland is another place with a large amusement park and the usual collection of tourist-trap places.
Kalahari’s legally registered theme is &uot;A World Away.&uot; There’s certainly reality with this motto, and some real irony with the name given to the enhanced hotels in Wisconsin Dells and Sandusky.
Despite the present name connection with watery components, the real Kalahari is a huge desert region in the south part of Africa. An encyclopedia entry says this dry African wasteland covers 200,000 square miles in Botswana and Namibia (formerly known as South West Africa). The entry adds, &uot;Some parts of the desert are covered with tufts of grass and scrubby trees. The region contains scant water supplies.&uot; Somehow, all this doesn’t sound very exotic.
Another Wisconsin Dells hotel or resort has a somewhat misleading name. Some folks think Treasure Island is a casino north of Red Wing. They’re right. However, the other place with the same name over in Wisconsin has 65,000 square feet of indoor water park, plus several outdoor theme parks. The other Treasure Island advertises itself as &uot;America’s largest water and theme-park resort.&uot;
Some of the other water parks over in Wisconsin Dells have names with rather dubious area connections like Polynesia, Chula Vista, Copa Cabana, Raintree, Atlantis and Camelot. The two places with more logical and somewhat localized names are the Wilderness and Great Wolf Lodge.
Water parks have been turned on in other localities. Over in Wisconsin there are major indoor and outdoor wet and wild recreation places in Wausau, Sheyboygan, Green Bay, Milwaukee and
Lake Geneva. Down in Iowa there’s a water park in Dubuque. And here in the land of so many lakes there are notable water parks in or near Brooklyn Center, Thief
River Falls and Minneapolis. Coming sometime in the future are new water parks at the Edgewater Resort in Duluth and a place in Bloomington called the Water Park of America. Now, I wonder what inspired that last name?
(Feature writer Ed Shannon’s column appears each Friday.)