Column: Something About Nothing

It’s time for the reindeer to go! That has been the mantra in my household for the last 10 or so years. The reindeer I am talking about is a giant stuffed reindeer that was given to me 40 some years ago by an old friend. OK, an old boyfriend. The mantra is from the male person in my household that is known as my husband.

The reindeer is as tall as I am. I know that doesn’t take much. Each year I haul him out and stand him in our living room or dining room or by the Christmas tree. Last year I put him in the window at work over the holidays. I think the other person in my household was hoping I would not bring him back.

Mr. Reindeer has a few holes in his stuffing. His legs are crooked and he has a hard time standing, just like us humans as we get older. He is tattered and torn, but he has a look of wonder on his face, and he makes me smile every time I look at him.

I tried dragging him to the Dumpster last year but just could not put an end to his stuffed life that way because he has lived in our family for so long. He grew up with my children and now my grandchildren always look for him every year.

This year I mentioned that it probably was time to let my tattered, tall, loveable reindeer go. My granddaughter got a sad look on her face and said, “No.”

This year, as I was pulling out my Christmas decorations, I looked at Mr. Reindeer and the thought crossed my mind that it was possibly time to throw him in the Dumpster.

After all, this year I have been sorting and letting go of many of the material things in my life that I do not need. I pulled out Mr. Reindeer and I pondered the reason that he meant so much to me.

I am sure my spouse imagines that I hang on to Mr. Reindeer because of who gave him to me, but that is not the reason. Mr. Reindeer makes me smile. He makes me remember a happy time. Mr. Reindeer makes me remember a time when life was simpler, when life was younger and when the future stretched before me. Mr. Reindeer holds memories of many Christmases past, and I remember those memorable times spent with my children and grandchildren around Mr. Reindeer.

I have never, ever quit loving stuffed animals even as an adult. There is something very comforting about putting your arms around a cuddly stuffed animal when you are hurting or even happy and you don’t have a human being to hug. Stuffed animals are therapeutic for kids of all ages. Mr. Reindeer is a huge hug.

I still do not know what I am going to do about Mr. Reindeer this year. I know he is an inanimate object. We tend to throw out tattered and torn inanimate objects even if they mean something to us. We talk ourselves into letting go and paring down those old and worn memories.

But someday I am going to be old and worn, tattered around the edges. Some might say I have already reached that stage. And I wonder if someone will not remember my value. I wonder if someone will not be able to see beyond the crooked legs that have a hard time standing. I wonder if someone will not be able to see beyond the rough edges and worn hands. I wonder if someone will not be able to see beyond what is and remember what was.

I love Mr. Reindeer not because he was a gift from an old boyfriend, but because he has been with me through many holidays. Holidays that included my high school friends, my parents and aunts and uncles some of whom now share this holiday in heaven. Holidays that included my children when they were small finding wonder in the joy of Christmas that adults could no longer see.

Children value even the smallest rock and see beauty in the ugliest weed. Mr. Reindeer reminds me to remember that even when we are tattered and torn, when we have holes poked into our lives that there is worth even if it is only in the eye of the beholder.

I have a feeling I have answered my own question. Is it time for the reindeer to go? I am going to keep you guessing as I leave you with this quote from Dr. Suess.

“Don’t cry because it’s over. Smile because it happened.” – Dr. Seuss

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send e-mail to her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net. Her blog is paringdown.wordpress.com. Listen to KBEW AM radio 1:30 p.m. Sundays for “Something About Nothing.”