Column: Something About Nothing

Short and sweet. Cut to the chase. Wrap it up. Those phrases all come to mind as I write this column. I had a little constructive criticism about the wordiness and length of my column from someone that I greatly respect. This person gave me some constructive criticism that I am going to take to heart.

Sometimes my column is a bit much. Sometimes I am all over the map. Sometimes I am all over the place. No one has given me a penny for my thoughts lately. A little bird told me that things would be A-OK because a problem shared is a problem halved.

A rolling stone gathers no moss, so it is time to make a change, because a still tongue keeps a wise head.

Occasionally my columns are all over the show. But you know all roads lead to Rome. I don’t like to put all my eggs in one basket. I am not an Agony Aunt and I don’t want to be all mouth and trousers.

I am going to cut to the quick. I do have a little bit of an ax to grind.

I received constructive criticism this week. It was done nicely, respectfully and with the idea it could possibly improve my column. We need to learn how to give and how to take constructive criticism.

The same day I was involved in a conversation where someone who was not there to defend themselves was criticized. At the time I felt it was unfair criticism. I got the vibe that other people in the room felt the same way. As the conversation evolved, it almost felt like we should get on the bandwagon and join in just to be a part of the group. If we were a part of the group the critique wouldn’t turn on us.

The attitude that was being conveyed served no purpose. It didn’t constructively change the person’s life that was being talked about and criticized. It was criticism, that had anyone heard it, might change their opinion unfairly of that person.

However that person happened to be nearby and heard the harsh words. It did change their life. It hurt them and angered them. It did not help them.

Here’s my ax to grind. The ax is with me. I don’t like to be criticized except for constructive criticism. Any other kind hurts. The ax is this. I did not stand up and defend my friend. I did nothing but stand by and listen to the conversation and be a part of hurtful criticism. I am deeply ashamed of that fact.

People critique articles, performances and our jobs. It is part of our lives. We can’t control what others say about us. We can only control what we say about others and ask ourselves if what we say will be helpful or harmful.

I hope I will remember that. I am human, and I make mistakes. But if I don’t remember I hope someone will constructively remind me the right way to give a critique.

This baby boomer has had a light-bulb moment this week. I may be long in the tooth, but it’s never too late to teach on old dog a new trick.

If you haven’t understood a word I have said you can check out http://www.english-for-students.com/idioms and you will be in the loop.

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send e-mail to her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net. Her blog is paringdown.wordpress.com. Listen to KBEW AM radio 1:30 p.m. Sundays for “Something About Nothing.”