Column: Angie Barker, Entertain Me

Dear Constant Readers,

I will be taking a self-imposed break for the next two months. “Entertain Me” will not be back until April. No fooling.

I don’t want this to be awkward. You readers are great. You are smart, beautiful, compassionate people. It’s not you, it’s me. Plus maybe the time apart will make us appreciate what we have together. You can even read other columns. I think this break might make us stronger in the end.

Oh who am I kidding?

I didn’t mean any of that. Please don’t read other columns. You are the only one for me. I’ll miss you. To prove it, I got you a going away present, something to remind you of me during our separation: a February and March entertainment list. I wouldn’t leave you hanging. This list has everything you need to survive our separation: TV, movies, books, music and electronics. Feel free to hang it on your fridge, next to the TV, inside your locker, under your pillow, or on your desk at work. Framing is optional, but I would recommend it, otherwise it might clash next to the pictures of your family.

Super Bowl XLV on Fox, Feb. 6

Last week as I was pulling back my sheets for bed, my sleepy eyes spied something taped to my pillow. My son had hidden a love note for me to find: a picture of Brett Favre with the caption “hey baby” written in scratchy 10-year-old handwriting. Go Packers!

“The 53rd Annual Grammy Awards” on CBS, Feb. 13

It is award season and the Grammys are in the thick of it. Cee Lo Green, Lady Gaga, Eminem and Miranda Lambert are performing. Justin Bieber is nominated for Best New Artist so anyone under 40 should have this date circled on their calendar. I got the fever and the only cure is more Bieber.

Nintendo 3DS, March

The first handheld 3-D gaming system and it doesn’t require the painful-to-wear-and-look-at glasses. We are officially one step removed from holograms; a definite sign that we are closer to teleportation being a viable transportation option. The future’s so bright and thanks to Nintendo I don’t have to wear the shades.

“Rango,” March 4

Johnny Depp voices the title chameleon who is trying to figure out where he fits in and how to stand out. Gore Verbinski, director of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” trilogy, filmed the movie with the actors first and then created the animated scenes to mimic them; an innovative technique that could create a totally new movie experience. That’s just a bonus because I would watch Johnny Depp in anything, including remakes of “Battlefield Earth,” “Gigli,” “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” and “Glitter.”

“Bossypants” by Tina Fey, April 5

I can’t wait to read Tina Fey’s book of essays. She is an everyday woman who despite the disadvantage of being “average” looking has become rich and famous. This is the image the media propagates but I for one am tired of pretending the Fey isn’t pretty. She’s downright beautiful. Admit it. You’ll feel better.

Albert Lea resident Angie Zoller Barker’s column appears weekly in the Albert Lea Tribune. Email questions, recommendations, or comments to entertainmecolumn@gmail.com.