Column: Pothole Prairie, by Tim Engstrom

This week, my 4-month old son, Jasper, wrote my column. Seriously.

OK, not seriously. But let’s pretend he did:

I’m cute.

I’m growing big.

I like to smile and giggle.

I can hold my head up all by myself.

I am learning to sit up.

I stare at faces now instead of just at lights.

I grab at my toys.

I try to eat my hands when I am hungry.

I am teething.

I am constipated, and I fart a lot.

I love my big brother. He is a little person like me.

My big brother makes noises that grab my attention.

I like it when Mommy or Daddy change my diaper. It makes me smile.

I like looking at the Noah’s Ark quilt on the wall in the living room.

What is my brother doing now?

I drool a lot.

I smile when wrapped in a blanket.

I have to get shots on Wednesday. It’ll hurt, and I will cry.

I don’t cry very much, though. I grunt when I need something. Mommy and Daddy go get what they think I need. Sometimes they are right. Sometimes they are wrong. I can’t wait to learn to talk.

Grunt. Grunt.

Mommy loves to hold me. Daddy loves to play with me.

I am very curious. I like to put objects in my mouth. It’s a good way to figure out what something is.

Hey, what is this box with pictures and sound that Mommy and Daddy are watching?

I have never had a haircut and hope I never need one.

What is my big brother doing now?

Mommy and Daddy love each other. That makes me a lucky baby.

I go to day care. My big brother calls it The Children’s Center. I like it there. I have great teachers, and I get to play with other babies.

Daddy says I like the Minnesota Vikings, whatever that is.

I turn my head from side to side when Mommy or Daddy tries to feed me when I am not hungry.

I don’t want to drink my bottle right now, Mommy.

I said I don’t want to drink my bottle right now, Mommy.

I just started playing in a saucer. It has a seat that lets me sort of stand. It has toys. It has blocks on a string. It has a keyboard. It has a little house with a mirror for a roof. It has a butterfly on a bendy pole. It has rings on a bar. It has a ball with balls inside it that make noise.

I giggle when Mommy or Daddy pulls my shirt over my head.

I smile when I see our doggy. She is a nice doggy, but I make a grumpy face when she licks me.

I like baths. They make me giggle and smile. Soap and water feel nice and make me clean.

What is my big brother doing now?

Tribune Managing Editor Tim Engstrom’s column appears every Thursday.