Column: Maiden Voyage, by Sherry Westland

It’s a new year with infinite possibilities for positive changes. While many people in general are optimistic about the New Year, many remain prisoners of their own minds, of negative self-talk and negative thinking.

I offer a challenge to those in the latter category. I know a little about depression and negative thinking because my oldest son, Ryan, fell into a deep depression to the point of despair, and he took his life. I don’t want my tragedy to become your tragedy. There is such heartbreak in the loss of a loved one, and while you never fully “get over it,” it has been my experience that you can find a renewed love of life over the years.

For me, my deep faith in God brought me through. Out of my tragedy, I developed a Love L.I.F.E Campaign.  “L” — the first letter of the acronym — stands for “Learning to love life by overcoming.” It can be overcoming depression (or addiction, whatever it is that is keeping you stuck). You may know you’re depressed, but don’t know how to get help. I want to offer you the hand of hope to overcome negative thinking.

First, let me say that there are varying degrees of depression. If you feel hopeless and don’t have a desire to live — you must call 911 or the Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) where trained professionals are standing by to help you and not judge you.

I don’t pretend to be an expert, yet I offer suggestions that I believe can help get you unstuck and moving in a positive direction up and out of depression.

Many of you know that depression can drain your energy, hope and drive, making it difficult to do what you need to feel better. But while overcoming depression isn’t quick or easy, it’s far from impossible. There are things within your control that you can do to help yourself — even if your depression is stubbornly persistent. The key is to start small and build from there. Feeling better takes time, but you can get there if you make positive choices.

You may not have much energy, but you probably have enough to take a short walk around the block or pick up the phone to call a loved one.  Take things one day at a time and reward yourself for each accomplishment. The steps may seem small, but they’ll quickly add up. And for all the energy you put into your depression recovery, you’ll get back much more in return.

Isolation and loneliness make depression worse, so maintaining close relationships and social activities are important. The thought of reaching out to even close family members and friends can seem overwhelming. Remind yourself that this is the depression talking. Your loved ones care about you and want to help. Share what you’re going through with the people you love and trust.

There are people all around you who are not depressed. Reach out to them and build relationships. Talk with one person about your feelings. Help someone else by volunteering. Ask a loved one to check on you regularly. Get out and have coffee with a friend, or go to a movie. Go for a walk (in the mall in this weather). Surround yourself with positive people. If you can’t shake the depression, seek a counselor or pastor.

Another way to combat depression is to challenge your negative thinking. Depression puts a negative spin on everything, including how you see yourself, and your perspective of your current situation and your future. You must replace negative thoughts with positive, balanced ones.

I love Philippians. 4:8 New Century Version: “Brothers and sisters, think about the things that are good and worthy of praise. Think about the things that are true and honorable, right, pure, beautiful and respected.”

Compare your thoughts with this scripture and you will see why you are depressed. Although there are many negative things going on in this world and we are bombarded by them through the media, we must guard our minds against them.

The next time you’re down, ask yourself what you’re thinking about. Whatever it is, change it to something good. If you’re being self-critical, stop. Many depressed people are perfectionists, holding themselves to impossibly high standards and then beating themselves up when they fail to meet them. There is too much “stinkin’ thinkin’” going on. Every life has immeasurable value, it is a gift from God. Believe it.

As humans, we are physical, spiritual and mental/emotional beings. An important part of overcoming is to take care of your physical body. As an ex-fitness instructor, I’m addicted to working out and paying attention to the things that make my life healthier. I have always used an acronym I was taught at an early age.

NEWSTART. It stands for Nutrition, Exercise (daily, it’s nature’s antidepressant), Water (eight glasses a day), Sunlight (15 minutes daily when possible), Temperance (be moderate in all things), Air (deep breathing of fresh, clean air), Rest (try to get eight hours of sleep), and Trust in God (we all need a higher power). This has served me well over the years.

While you can’t force yourself to have fun or experience pleasure, you can choose to do things that you used to enjoy. Pick up a former hobby or a sport you used to like. Express yourself creatively through music, art or writing. Go out with friends. If you think about it long enough, you will come up with a great idea to implement to bring some pleasure into your life.

Push yourself to do things, even when you don’t feel like it. You might be surprised at how much better you feel once you start moving. Even if your depression doesn’t lift immediately, you’ll gradually feel more upbeat and energetic as you make time for fun activities.

If you find your depression getting worse, seek professional help. Needing additional help doesn’t mean you’re weak. Sometimes the negative thinking in depression can make you feel like you’re a lost cause, but depression can be treated and you can feel better! There is hope!

Finally, don’t forget about these self-help tips. Even if you’re receiving professional help, these tips can be part of your treatment plan, speeding your recovery and preventing depression from returning.

It’s my hope for you that you will defeat depression, recover from rejection and find hope for tomorrow. We all need to find a renewed love of life!

Albert Lea resident Sherry Westland is Ms. Minnesota in the Ms. Senior America Pageant. She writes about surviving the suicide of a loved one.