Pothole Prairie by Tim Engstrom

The news came on the radio as I was taking my 7-year-old son, Forrest, to school one morning last week. It was that morning when the Minnesota Vikings had announced — in the middle of the night — that the franchise intended to suspend star running back Adrian Peterson indefinitely. It was the story at the top of the Tribune that day, too.

The decision came after the team had taken him off of a one-game suspension. The national reaction to photos of his 4-year-old son’s legs with open wounds had prompted outcry, and the Vikings reversed course. Later that day, they would have a press conference with all the bigwigs saying they made a mistake and pledging “to get it right.”

But at this time, I was shuttling my son to school and the radio mentioned his favorite football player’s troubles. He asked what was going on. I explained a switch was a whippy stick and told Forrest that Adrian Peterson hit his son with one too hard and got in trouble. Everyone is mad at him.

The understanding was instant. What kid doesn’t immediately understand when punishment becomes too harsh? Forrest said he didn’t like Adrian Peterson anymore because “He whacked his kid with a stick.”

Last night, I asked him who his favorite player is now? “My favorite player is your favorite player, Dad — Cordorl Patterson.”

You mean Cordarrelle Patterson?

“Yeah.”

It goes without saying, but I am so very disappointed in Adrian Peterson.

I am mostly disappointed that he let my son down, but I am also disappointed in him just as a man — that while he was looking for a stick with which to strike his son that he didn’t consider his actions. Think before you act, I tell my son often.

We men like to build. We fix. We save the day. We even describe our good ideas, whether fixing an engine or raising our children or making good investments, to other men around water coolers, on golf courses and over coffee. I’ve been there. Besides sports and weather, that’s the other thing men talk about — our feats. What man doesn’t like to share how he shingled the house, repaired a broken toy or taught his daughter to spit?

“Yeah, one time I was able to take down an entire tree and fit all the wood into my trailer by packing it just right. But that was nothing. My father, he was the world’s best at packing.”

Planning in advance and acting out plans — and I admit to stereotyping but there is truth to it — is what men do.

Adrian had all that time while getting a stick to tell himself that what happened to him as a boy wasn’t appropriate to do as a father here in 2014. And if that wasn’t enough, there should have been some red flag in his brain that he was a world-famous athlete and his image as a squeaky clean football player would be destroyed if the boy became injured.

Nope.

So what was it? What warped his senses?

I don’t know, but I can speculate. I think the men working day in and day out in the National Football League are in a world of brutality and machismo. Eventually, this tough-guy attitude affects their life perspective. They forget themselves. Not all, but some, and those players get in trouble.

I was in the 82nd Airborne Division, and it was almost all male, far more so than the non-airborne units. We trained to kill and to survive as light infantry. We jumped out of perfectly good airplanes. We definitely didn’t have a true-world, balanced outlook. We were hardcore, fit, tough and, yes, manly like all get out. Many soldiers got in trouble for guns, drugs, alcohol-related crimes and violence, especially during the year we came back from the Persian Gulf War.

Sometimes, it happened to some of the very best soldiers. I remember one spit-shined Soldier of the Month guy who was the captain’s favorite. The soldier ended up getting kicked out of the Army because he killed his best friend while driving drunk. I remember how disappointed the captain was in making the announcement to our company.

Heck, in another case, we in the barracks of our company all lived with a murderer for 30 days. I played video games with the guy a few times in that month. Detectives didn’t figure out this man was a suspect in a homicide until after he ended his time in the service. Yikes!

Another time, a few friends and I were sitting on the front steps one Friday night. Shots rang out in the parking lot across the street. Instead of running away, we all — almost all — ran toward the shots to see the commotion up close.

The tales of crime and woe go on and on. My point is this: Macho-man environments skew outlooks, often for the worst. That said, there are many men who live or work in that world who, of course, get along just fine, partly because they know better and mostly because they remember to listen to the women in their lives.

And in this time of turmoil for the NFL, it would be wise for league officials to heed the advice of women as they move forward.

 

Albert Lea Tribune Editor Tim Engstrom’s column appears every Tuesday.