Things I Tell My Wife by Matt Knutson

“My dad called and said it’ll be a little colder than we thought this weekend,” I told my wife as we shopped for hunting clothes.

When my dad invited us to go deer hunting up at the cabin this year, I don’t think Sera quite realized what she agreed to when she said yes. Our previous trips up to the cabin have had several opportunities for Sera to learn how to shoot a gun, target practice, and climb up in a tree stand, but that was just for fun. I didn’t expect her to ever actually go deer hunting. That all changes this weekend.

My dad’s always been a big hunter. I recall many hunting trips as a little kid walking through the woods, trying to keep up with his big steps. He taught me to step where he stepped to avoid making noise by stepping on fallen branches, and he showed me the different footprints from animals in the woods. I’d climb up in that deer stand with him, eat some candy and take a nap while he patiently waited for the right deer to cross our meticulously cared for trail. Years later I’d be up in the deer stand alone, and this weekend I’ll be up there with Sera.

She’s learned a few things since eagerly agreeing to go hunting this weekend. First, it means getting up early. Her first surprise was discovering we’d need to be in the stand before the sun comes up.

My wife is a lot of things, but she’s not a morning person. I’m not sure if she’s ever voluntarily seen a sunrise before. This weekend she’ll find out just how beautiful those sunrises can be.

I’m sure Sera will be a very capable hunter, but I think one of the hardest parts of her being in the deer stand will be simply letting the time pass. I remember when I was younger, and it seemed like we were up in the stand forever.

These days she can bring her phone along and play games until she gets bored. We’ve also planned a trip to the public library to get a book or two to help pass the time. Patience is always something worth practicing, and we’ll certainly get our practice in up at the cabin.

Once Sera had committed, there were certain things I tried to keep from her that I thought would hold her back from wanting to partake in the deer hunting experience.

Of course they all came to light when curiosity got the best of her. As she began sharing her upcoming adventure with co-workers, she was informed of the human-scent-killing practice where hunters spray urine from another animal on their boots.

As much as I’ve explained that she won’t be showering in it, my wife is still finds it ludicrous. According to Sera, her flower-scented lotion should remove any natural human scent, and since flowers are indeed from the outdoors, it will serve as a perfect scent camouflage to any approaching deer.

We’ll see about that.

While shooting the deer may be difficult for some, I knew field dressing the animal would be the worst for Sera. I purposefully didn’t speak much about what happens after you shoot the deer, as I know Sera won’t be the one to actually gut the deer in the field.

Unfortunately, curiosity killed the cat the other day when my wife came across hunting videos on YouTube and watched a 10-minute tutorial on the process of field dressing a deer from start to end.

I use “watched” loosely, as her eyes were closed or covered during the majority of the video. Her proposed solution for avoiding the field dressing situation was her shooting the deer, finding the deer and then being dropped off at the cabin while the dirty work is being done.

I’m not sure that’s exactly how it will go, but it was comforting to know that the process wasn’t going to keep her from actually taking a shot.

Of course the hardest part for my African bride will be the cold. We finally turned the heat on in our home on Nov. 1, and she’s come to be quite fond of it.

Luckily our shopping trip resulted in several pieces of warm clothing, much of it not fashionable enough to be multi-purposed. I’ve been blessed with a wife who loves adventure and is up for trying just about anything once, so I’m sure a little preview of winter won’t keep her from deer hunting — at least this year.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.