What children really want for Christmas …

Published 4:11 pm Saturday, January 3, 2015

Dear Leah,

We weren’t able to provide as much for our children for Christmas this year. I feel guilty because they have worked really hard in school and have helped out around the house. They didn’t seem disappointed, but I just can’t get past the feelings of guilt. What should I do?

— Not Enough to Give

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Dear Not Enough,

You know, it may sound corny, but the best present you can give your children is to be present with them.

Leah Albert

Leah Albert

Far too often parents will be in the same room but will have little or no interaction with their children. No matter how many toys a child may have, there is nothing that can replace the attention they receive from their parents.

It appears you appreciate their efforts in school and around the house — by showing them you are aware of how hard they work and acknowledging their efforts, you are giving them the gift of support and encouragement.

When I was younger, I had an opportunity to observe a father with his young son in a park where I was reading. I watched as the father kept pace with his son — he didn’t try to hurry him along, but was walking slowly, hand in hand. The son stopped briefly to look at some dandelions and the father bent down to observe along with him. He shared the wonder of this little world with his son.

What a gift that was for both of them!

This was a remarkable lesson for me — and something I have shared with others when it’s been appropriate.

Our children don’t ask for much from us — at least not initially — they just want us. We live in a consumerist society where the accumulation of “things” tends to trump everything else.

What you can give your child is experiences — be with them, observe the world with them, listen patiently to their questions and help them explore their environment.

You can plan mini-adventures throughout the year and discover new places in your community. You can create science experiments using household items or show your children how to create works of art using items found in nature.

Even changing the oil in your car can be a new and exciting experience for a child to observe and possibly help with (depending on his/her age).

The options are endless when you use your imagination.

Not all children have someone in their lives who is able to be completely present. The time you spend with your children and the lessons you teach them make a far more significant impact than any plastic toy or video game.

Giving your child the gift of you is more than enough.

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.