Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

They say confession is good for the soul. I have a confession to make. I can’t believe I have this to confess. I watch “The Bachelor.” I have to eat the words I have spoken in the past because I made the statement that I thought it was a ridiculous show. That was before I became hooked on this season of ABC’s “The Bachelor.”

I didn’t understand the hype. I didn’t understand why it was a popular show. Watching the end of the last “The Bachelorette” series, quite by accident, I became intrigued by the cute farm boy from Iowa that the bachelorette didn’t pick. It doesn’t matter how old I am, I still can see cute and handsome. The cute, rejected farm boy from Iowa, Chris Soules, is this season’s bachelor, and he seems to be a nice guy.

In the ’60s there was a rumor that songs on the radio had hidden messages that enticed you to keep listening to them. Perhaps “The Bachelor” producers have incorporated that into their program and we don’t know it because it is easy to get sucked into the program and the drama.

In case you don’t know the premise of the program, a bachelor is looking for a wife. The program brings numerous women for the bachelor to date over the weeks, eliminating some of them in the rose ceremony until he finds and falls in love with the woman who hopefully will be his wife.

Over the course of the years and the shows, there have been some couples that have been successful in their search and others that have split up soon after the program ended.

Although this program with the Iowa bachelor has become an obsession with me, I don’t understand why these beautiful women, and also men with “The Bachelorette” program, would put themselves in the position they are in during the show. I imagine some of them are there for fame and fortune that might follow because they get noticed.

I can’t imagine being one of these women waiting for a turn to have a one-on-one or a group date with the bachelor, let alone know that he is also romancing and kissing other women. In this case each woman is waiting for the bachelor to notice them. He makes them each feel special, but they don’t know if it is special enough. We hang on every moment.

I found myself as I watched the women who were waiting, wondering and on pins and needles, some in tears, asking myself, “What is wrong with this picture?” In the real world would it be OK with us to be in a queue competing, waiting for someone to honor us with a little attention? Would we be so forgiving if someone we were seeing was kissing and holding other women? Probably not.

I realize this is a reality show. I don’t feel this is a game to Chris Soules. I am partial to Iowa and the reason I watch this season is because Chris Soules seems to be genuine. I wonder how many of the young women and teenagers that possibly watch this get the idea that it is fine to wait for someone to notice them and choose them,  while the one that is possibly the object of their affection is noticing someone else at the same time.

Love is a waiting game but reality shows aren’t really reality.

I will admit I am old with some old-fashioned ideas. When I was dating we didn’t have the Internet and the world wide communication we have now. The people we met and dated were from our communities, or places we visited or colleges we attended. Keeping in touch with those boyfriends and girlfriends farther away meant we had to write letters and use the telephone. Our space for meeting people was limited. Other people would play matchmaker and introduce us to people they thought were right for us.

How many people of the older generations would have chosen different people if they had the wide opportunities that are available now? What I understand from listening to those who are looking for someone to share their life with, is that it is hard in 2015 to meet people because of the busy world we live in.

Single people are limited in small farming communities such as the town where this year’s bachelor resides. The younger people move to the city, without the familiarity of small towns where everyone knows everyone.  Meeting a potential spouse is harder.

In 2015 we have a wide range of dating sites matching people to other people that makes them compatible. I know people who have used these sites and found beautiful people to marry.

As I root for my favorite woman to win the bachelor’s heart I am still mystified as to the process. I am still baffled as to why it keeps me glued to the program. Perhaps it is because of Cinderella. We love the story of Cinderella meeting her prince charming. Maybe “The Bachelor” and “The Bachelorette” is our 2015 version of Cinderella. I don’t know, but I can’t wait to see who is chosen for the happy ending.

 

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net. Her Facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/julie.seedorf.author.