Tales From Exit 22 by Al Batt

What bugs you about other drivers?

Insure.com found that 47 percent disliked other drivers using cellphones. Tailgating — 37 percent. Not signaling — 35 percent. Changing lanes frequently — 28 percent. Speeding — 26 percent.

CarInsuranceComparison.com ranked states based on fatality rate per miles driven, failure to obey traffic laws, drunken driving, speeding and careless driving collisions. The country’s worst driving states: Montana and South Carolina tied for worst, followed by Texas, North Dakota and Delaware. The states with the best drivers in order: Minnesota, Iowa, New Hampshire, Alaska and Connecticut.

Allstate’s annual “America’s Best Drivers Report” examined the 200 largest U.S. cities and found Fort Collins, Colorado, where drivers average 14.2 years between crashes, the safest. Worcester, Massachusetts, had the worst drivers, averaging a crash every 4.3 years.

I received an invitation to take a class called DIP.

I figured I was the target audience, a dip.

I learned that DIP stood for Driver Improvement Program.

My wife, The Queen B, thinks I’m so directionally challenged that she gave me a GPS so I could find the clothes hamper. The GPS tells me where to go so I don’t have to depend on other drivers to do that. She suggested that I enroll in the class.

I told her that I would when I was good and ready. It turned out that I was good and ready. I enrolled immediately because I wanted to become a better driver and develop a keen understanding of traffic laws.

Those should have been my primary reasons for my attendance, but I was there to get a discount on my auto insurance.

The wheel was invented by a fellow named Ag. He was a gatherer, not a hunter. He needed a wheel to move his crops to market. One day, Ag was polishing the wheel when it got away from him. It sped down a hill and ran over poor Og. Og sued for damages. Not long after that, Ag invented insurance.

I took behind-the-wheel driver’s training so long ago that all the spare tires were full-sized. They came in two styles: full of air and flat. My instructor was my shop teacher. Shop class was a misnomer. We never went shopping.

I worried that DIP would be an eternity forever, but it was good. The instructor was engaging. We watched videos of crashing and bashing.

Questions made me go “Huh?” or “Really?” I faked, “Oh, yeah. I knew that.” I had all the answers. A few were right. My brain was on dial-up.

Here are things gleaned from the class.

A survey showed that 25 percent of all meals are consumed in automobiles. Cars should be equipped with bucket tables.

The distance between your auto and the vehicle ahead while traveling highway speeds should be what is reasonable and prudent. The instructor recommended the three-second rule. This had nothing to do with food that has fallen to the floor. When the vehicle ahead passes a fixed object, you shouldn’t until you’ve counted three seconds.

Drivers must stop at least 20 feet from a school bus with stop arm extended and red lights flashing.

Teenagers make up 7 percent of drivers, but account for 12 percent of crashes. People over 65 constitute 15 percent of drivers and account for 8 percent of crashes. City roads record 70 percent of total crashes, yet 70 percent of fatal crashes happen on rural roads. Interstate highways make up 1 percent of total road miles, but carry 25 percent of the traffic. Most fatal crashes occur in late afternoon and early evening.

Vehicles with slow moving vehicle signs cannot exceed 30 mph.

MNDOT reports that 94 percent of Minnesota’s motorists are compliant with seatbelt usage. Greater Minnesota is less compliant than the metro area.

Push a penny head first into a tire’s tread groove. If you can see the top of Lincoln’s head, the tire should be replaced. The last four numbers of the DOT serial number on a tire’s sidewall indicate the week and year of its manufacture.

Drivers are ticketed for passengers aged 14 and younger who aren’t wearing seat belts. Unbelted passengers age 15 and older are ticketed.

It’s against the law to pass on the right unless you are on a multi-lane highway or in a bypass lane.

Bright lights must be dimmed within 1,000 feet of an oncoming car.

Now when another driver flashes a hand sign indicating that I’m No. 1, they might be right. There were 28 in the class. I graduated somewhere in the top 28.

 

Hartland resident Al Batt’s columns appear every Wednesday and Sunday.