“Did you fall off the map?”

That’s how some guys say, “I haven’t seen you around for a while.”

I told him that I’d been working in North Dakota. Not many years ago, he’d have commented about that being the end of the world. People don’t think that way about North Dakota today. Maybe they do in New York or Los Angeles. North Dakota is a fine place that I enjoy visiting.

I’m sure oil has changed the way people think of North Dakota. On my last visit, the oil wells had not yet leafed out. Oil has spawned jokes. People don’t grow old in North Dakota. They grow oiled and take an oily retirement. North Dakota has so much oil that it makes pimple creams shudder. If you know someone who is prospecting for oil, send him a “get well” card. One fellow claims to have found happiness right in his own backyard — with an oil well. Buffalo still roam in North Dakota, but they slip on the oil.

The ample and amber fields of grain weren’t up to waving yet. No worries. People waved. Waving is a noble and happy gesture. The Gallup-Healthways Well-Being Index, based on physical and emotional health, lists the top 10 happiest states as 1. North Dakota 2. South Dakota 3. Nebraska 4. Minnesota 5. Montana 6. Vermont 7. Colorado 8. Hawaii 9. Washington 10. Iowa.

A survey by Insure.com found North Dakota drivers the least rude. Minnesota motorists ranked the fifth most polite. Idaho is home to the rudest drivers. Some say that the way to identify a funeral procession in North Dakota is to see if the combines have their lights on.

North Dakota ranks as the No. 1 state in the production of barley, canola, dry edible beans, dry edible peas, durum wheat, flax, honey, lentils, navy beans, pinto beans, spring wheat and sunflowers, according to the National Agricultural Statistics Service. There is some CRP land — cedars, rocks and prairies.

I crossed the Continental Divide. Much of North Dakota was settled as the railroads expanded. Devil’s Lake continues to expand in an effort to deliver fresh fish to everyone’s door in North Dakota.

Scientists discovered bones in a sedimentary rock layer known as the Hell Creek formation in North and South Dakota. The bones were from an oviraptorosaur, an 11-foot-long, 500-pound, beaked, clawed and feathered creature nicknamed the “Chicken from Hell.”

Roger Maris hit 61 home runs during the 1961 season for the New York Yankees, breaking Babe Ruth’s record of 60. The Roger Maris Museum is in West Acres Shopping Center in Fargo. Maris had requested that it be free to the public.

In 1889, the new state of North Dakota received a gift of over 3 million acres of land from the federal government for the purpose of funding public education. Typically, that included Sections 16 and 36 in every township. I walked some of those school section prairies. There is no up to a prairie, but it seems like it when you walk them. The wind howled across the prairies causing a meteorological phenomenon known as a bad hair day. There are rambling roses because of the wind. I moved as slow as I could without more government involvement. I found sparse shade by a chokecherry tree that bears clusters of white flowers and bitter-tasting fruit that’s the official state fruit.

I went to a roadside attraction built in 1959 in Jamestown to lure people off the interstate highway. Dakota Thunder, 26-feet high and 46-feet long, is the world’s largest buffalo. North Dakota is where the buffalo burgers roam. Real buffalo (bison) are near Dakota Thunder.

A friend is a BINDer. Born In North Dakota. He winters in South Dakota. He looked at the bison and said, “Those are the mangiest, most moth-eaten, miserable beasts I’ve ever seen.”

One buffalo said, “I just heard a discouraging word.”

I spent most of my time in Foster, Eddy, Stutsman and Kidder counties. Kidder County is a bit larger in size than Rhode Island. The population of Rhode Island is over 1 million. Kidder County has 2,400 people.

I hope Rhode Island feels better by knowing that it’s still bigger than I am. I am, however, bigger than a breadbox.

North Dakota is filled with things that give value to travel. There is always a there there.

It was a long drive getting to my destination.

It was worth every mile.

 

Hartland resident Al Batt’s columns appear every Wednesday and Sunday.