Preserving the Past by Pat Mulso

In today’s world, where many individuals are living into their 90’s or older, many families are experiencing first hand, the effects of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease. Sometimes these diseases also strike younger individuals as well and sometimes without warning. I recently viewed the special presentation about Glen Campbell and his struggle with Alzheimer’s. It brought back memories of my experience with my mother. The early signs,

repeating things, not remembering if she took her medicine, getting lost or forgetting where she was going or why she was going somewhere. I recall we went to the funeral home to prepay and make her arrangements. She knew exactly what she wanted, the kind and color of casket and vault, which newspapers she wanted her obituary listed and the type of memorial card. After all the details had been discussed she said, “I’m glad that this is taken care of,” and we headed for the car. As we were pulling out of the lot she said, “Who’s viewing did we just go to?” She had already forgotten what we had just done.

A few months later the really scary incident happened. She had gone shopping, but instead of going to the mall just a few miles from her home she ended up near a mall over an hour from her home and had an auto accident. She was not injured, but ended up driving directly to the dealership where she bought her car, which was over two hours from where the accident occurred. They gave her a loaner car and when she got home she couldn’t figure out how to turn the car off. She called me and said, “Pat, I have a problem.” I said, “What’s that mom?” She said, “I had an accident today by the Dayton Mall and I took my car to get it fixed, they gave me a car to drive and I can’t figure out how to turn it off.” I said, “Hold on a minute mom.” While she was on hold I called my sister and brother-in-law in Ohio and told them to go to her apartment immediately. I kept her on the phone until my brother-in-law arrived. After a little investigation on their end we were able to figure out the accident had not occurred where she thought and we knew it was time we stepped in to make some decisions to ensure her safety. Fortunately, we had already updated her power of attorney and her medical power of attorney and several of us siblings were on her bank accounts so we could step in when needed to pay bills.

I made a trip home and knew the car had to be sold, because otherwise she would continue to drive and next time she might injure herself or someone else. This was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever done. She was mad and felt she had lost all of her independence. The next step was to move her to an apartment where she would be safer and have options for activities, a ride to church, shopping etc. This worked for a while, but things progressed to the point where she would put meat in the cupboard instead of the refrigerator and she couldn’t remember to take time to eat. We had ordered meals on the go for her, but she canceled them. My siblings went daily to administer the medications she needed, but that was three times a day, seven days a week and not always easy as they were still working and both lived 30 minutes away. So, I convinced mom she deserved a vacation and should come spend a few weeks with me in Minnesota. The three years she lived with us, she thought she was on vacation.

Mom was one of the lucky ones. She was always pleasant, able to physically move around easily and was always ready to go, whether it was out to eat, to visit friends or attend church. Then one morning she woke up early, came out to the kitchen and she said, “Where am I?” I said. “You are at my house mom. It’s early, you can go back to sleep for a while.” She stood there with this blank look on her face and I realized she didn’t know how to find her way back down the hall to her room. I took her by the hand, led her back to bed, tucked her in and stayed with her until she was asleep. A few weeks later she woke up during the night to use the bathroom and instead of going back in her room she went the other way down the hall and opened the front door. I knew then it was time for her transition to St. John’s Lutheran Community.

Since she had attended the adult day care program (available at that time) several days a week, it made the move easier. She thought she was living in an apartment. She said she had nice neighbors, the food was good, but she didn’t know why she had a roommate, but she was very nice. My mother lived an additional 10 months and died peacefully. The day before she passed away I had stopped to see her, but she was not in her room, she was out on the sun porch having coffee and playing cards. I said, “Hi Mom, do you need anything?” She patted my hand and said, “I’m having coffee with my friends and we are playing cards. I’ll see you tomorrow.” My mom died early the next morning. What a blessing, she was content and happy to the last day.

We never know what challenges life will have for us, my step-father-in-law also has dementia or Alzheimer’s and his condition is progressing quite differently than my mother’s and is more challenging, even with a bit of experience under our belts. So as you look back on your life, be thankful for your health, for your family and for the memories and experiences you have shared with loved ones. And if you have not taken the opportunity to share a special memory or experience with a child or grandchild, do not delay. You never know when the ability to do so will no longer exist! If you are a caregiver here in Freeborn County there are many resources to help you to manage your new responsibilities. It is very important to take advantage of these resources to ensure your well-being as well as those you are caring for.

The museum is hosting a Defensive Driving Refresher Class from 5:30 to 9:30 p.m. July 16. The four-hour class is required every three years after the initial eight-hour class. The cost is $20 for AARP members and $25 for non-members. This fee includes class materials and an administrative fee. You must pre-register for the class.

The Freeborn County Historical Museum Board of Directors are hosting a swiss steak fundraiser from 4:30 to 7 p.m. July 23 at the American Legion in Albert Lea. Tickets are $9 and available at the museum. Proceeds will be used for museum programs and projects. Please join us for a great meal. Support your local museum and the American Legion.

Remember, what happens today is history tomorrow!

 

Pat Mulso is the executive director of the Freeborn County Historical Museum, Library and Village, 1031 Bridge Ave.