The Discovery Channel likes sharks. That TV channel said that once sharks get a taste of human flesh, they rarely come back for a second bite. Many tripe eaters are the same way. That makes sharks better than mosquitoes and gnats. Sharks kill one person each year in the U.S. according to Oceana.

A hippopotamus can be 15 feet long, weigh 3 1/2 tons and run 20 miles an hour. According to the Bill Gates Foundation, hippos kill 500 people a year in Africa.

Cows look docile, but the U.S. Center for Disease Control and Prevention shows an average of 22 deaths a year by bovines. Horses cause 20 deaths per year. Alligators kill one, bears one, snakes six and dogs 28. According to the World Health Organization, mosquitoes kill 725,000 people worldwide.

We don’t have free-range hippos, but auto/deer collisions cause about 200 deaths a year in this country.

Keep an eye out for deer-crossing signs. They are there for a reason, but not all deer cross where they’re supposed to. They’re not readers. If you see one deer, look for another, especially at dawn and after sunset. About 20 percent of crashes occur in early morning and over half between 5 p.m. and midnight. Don’t swerve to avoid deer. Swerving could cause a collision with an oncoming vehicle or tree, increasing chances of serious injuries.

There are about 1 million deer in Minnesota. It’s difficult to tell exactly as not one of them contributes to Social Security. Texas has 4.7 million deer.

Deer are interesting critters. They have four-chambered stomachs. The first chamber, called the rumen, is for storage, allowing deer to gather food to digest later. Food is brought back into the mouth and chewed again. This is called chewing the cud or ruminating. Animals that do this are called ruminants. The reticulum is the second chamber where microorganisms attack food. This fermentation produces a gas (methane) that deer discharge regularly. When deer chew their cuds, they get nutrition from the microorganisms. The food then goes to the third chamber, the omasum, where water is absorbed. Finally, the cud enters the last chamber, the abomasum, where gastric juices continue digestion.

Bucks go into rut during the mating season. It’s triggered by photoperiod (hours of daylight). In their competitive zeal they thrash saplings, rub antlers against trees and fight with rivals.

According to State Farm Insurance, there are 1.25 million auto/deer collisions in the U.S. each year. These are just the collisions that were reported, which may be only half. The chances of a driver hitting a deer in Minnesota are 1 in 81, with 37,549 collisions annually. That’s up 9 percent from the previous year. The national average is 1 in 169. Minnesota has the seventh highest odds. Iowa is third at one in 68, Wisconsin one in 77, South Dakota one in 73 and North Dakota one in 113. West Virginia leads the collision parade, as it does most years, with a one in 44 chance. Pennsylvania, one in 70, has the most deer collisions with 123,941, nearly 10 percent of the nation’s total. Hawaii drivers have the least chance of colliding with deer at one in 8,765.

According to the Minnesota Department of Public Safety, Sherburne County has the most auto/deer collisions, followed by Hennepin and Dakota counties. There were eight fatalities due to deer collisions in 2013. There are around 4 million miles of public roads in the U.S. and 142,914 in Minnesota.

Corn and soybeans come out of the fields like candy corn (a nasty confection that serves the purpose of keeping kids from eating too much candy at Halloween) and multi-colored Asian lady beetles (that eat soybean aphids).

Deer come out of nowhere when they are twitterpated. In the film “Bambi,” Friend Owl said, “Nearly everybody gets twitterpated in the springtime.” Twitterpated is the feeling of besottedness derived from contemplating an object of desire. It’s a condition characterized by feelings of anticipation, excitement, giddiness and hope.

Most auto/deer collisions happen in October, November and June. The first two months are due to mating and hunting pressures. June is when young fawns are moving.

The DNR says that the average doe weighs 145 pounds and a buck 170 pounds, about the average weights of humans. The record in Minnesota is a 500-pound buck.

A white-tailed deer is capable of running 35 mph and jumping over an eight-foot fence, but isn’t likely to leap over your Lexus.

Especially when the deer is twitterpated.

 

Hartland resident Al Batt’s columns appear every Wednesday and Sunday.