The Nice Advice, by Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

My boyfriend’s family wants to visit and stay at our place over the holidays. I’ve only met them a few times, and I don’t know what to expect. I’ve never had visitors outside of my own family before. How do I learn to be the perfect hostess in just a month? It’s really important to me that I impress them.

— Home for the Holidays

 

Dear Home,

This is a perfect opportunity to get to know your boyfriend better — under circumstances you haven’t experienced before. Family can bring out the best or the worst in us, especially during the holidays. This may be your first time problem-solving together and you can work to develop effective communication under stressful situations. These skills will come in handy over the years and will strengthen your relationship.

I have a few tips for you to make sure things go smoothly for you and your guests.

First, sit down with your boyfriend and develop an action plan — you can identify responsibilities and roles that each of you can play. For example, one of you can make sure everyone has access to food and beverages throughout the stay, and the other person can focus on entertainment.

It’s a good idea to figure out a variety of meal plans and check to see if anyone has dietary restrictions. Food may be the most important part of any extended stay, especially this time of the year. You can ask your boyfriend if he would be able to prepare a few family favorites. Don’t try to do anything complicated or fix a dish you haven’t tried before — this can spell disaster, especially when you’re distracted by the many other details that will be on your mind. You also don’t want to be stuck in the kitchen the whole time — people are there to see you.

You can bake breads and muffins ahead of time and freeze them for breakfast or snacks. Try to keep any other details as simple as possible so you don’t have added stress.

Discuss fun things to do with your boyfriend. Does his family enjoy spending time outside or do they like to play board games by the fire? You can create a list of options together — it’s nice to highlight the unique activities your community has to offer. Maybe people love to go antiquing — a great idea would be to create a map of stores or fun locations they could visit so it’s easy to navigate your town if they choose to venture out on their own.

I would recommend that you create a check-off list of tasks to complete before the visit, so you’re not trying to figure out what you forgot an hour before your guests arrive. This would include household chores, laundry, grocery shopping and any details such as preparing a basket of towels, soaps and snacks to place on each guest’s bed. This will help you feel more relaxed and your guests feel welcomed when they arrive.

It is very likely you will forget something, but you are human and your guests will respond to how you react to the situation. Try to stay calm and focus on being yourself. The most important part of this visit is connecting with your boyfriend’s family. Have fun!

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.