The Nice Advice, By Leah Albert

Dear Leah,

Spring is nearly sprung, and I am lacking inspiration to celebrate it. I struggled with a bit of depression over the winter. I believe it was more seasonal winter blues than chronic or severe depression. Many things in my life have suffered as a result, including my home.

I managed to get to work every day, and did a good job professionally, but when I got home after a day at the office I was so exhausted inside and out. This continues today. However, I think now I am reacting more out of habit than any actual depression. I’m beginning to see small changes in my behavior that give me hope I am rounding the bend on these dark days and finally coming around to the light again.

I feel like I need to kick things up a notch. Or 12 notches. I need a big boom of cleaning and organizing and maybe there will be room for energy and inspiration in my life again. I’ve never been a strong organizer. Do you have any tips for getting started?

Signed,

Messy and Mad

 

Dear Mad,

It’s awesome that you are self-aware and can see the difference between depression and habit. Things in your life will change if you let them. Step out of your comfort zone — yes, it’s entirely possible for your comfort zone to be a messy house.

When your house is messy, you don’t need to worry about entertaining friends, because no one is coming over. You don’t need to muster up the energy to face a pile of dishes that have been sitting in your sink for a month. You can just turn on the TV, plop down on the couch and ignore it all very comfortably. Kind of.

It takes energy to hate yourself. And shame yourself. And isolate yourself. And if you have children, well multiply all of those feelings by a thousand and throw on a heaping scoop of guilt. No wonder you’re exhausted, poor thing.

I am glad to hear you have hope. That your behaviors are changing. Sometimes it’s best to start small, baby steps, into a new life style that’s sustainable. The boom that you’re wanting might help in the short term, but it is unlikely to lead to lasting change.

Trust your intuition. I think you’re on the right track. And in the meantime, find some support. Cleaning up the mess you’ve made is going to be emotionally overwhelming. Likely more overwhelming than the mess itself.

Ask a friend you trust to come sit while you clean. For moral support. If you’re comfortable letting her help, great. There are a lot of support groups on social media. One that I like in particular is 40 Bags in 40 Days. It’s all about working through the emotion of mess and celebrating the wins of finally clearing out your space.

Let your life change. Don’t hold on to poor habits just because they are comfortable. Better things are waiting for you. Take care!

Leah

 

Leah Albert is a fictitious character. She likes wine and writing. Don’t ask her to be a matchmaker. Do send your questions to Leah at theniceadviceleahalbert@gmail.com.