“Sometimes you just have to trust that everything is going to be okay,” I told Sera the night before our daughter’s first day of child care. Neither of us slept well that evening. My wife was worried throughout the night, and I was restless because she was worried. The next morning was rough.

Giving up your daughter to strangers, no matter how prepared you are, is going to be hard. For my wife, it was almost unthinkable. I have never seen someone put so much thought into what could potentially go wrong when our daughter was out of our sight. Day care intruders and arsonists were top of mind as Sera’s worries grew throughout that night. I kept reminding her of the wonderful people we had met at Gracelyn’s child care facility, and we had nothing to worry about.

Secretly though, I was a little worried. I had full confidence in our child care provider, but I was concerned about what would happen if this did not work out. Is it possible for them to reject her? I’m pretty sure we have an easy baby, but what if she’s only easy around her parents? People are always different when they’re not in the presence of their parents, and maybe that starts at 2 months old.

A week and a half into day care, and it has become clear that none of our concerns have come to pass. It was a rocky transition, with Gracelyn not eating much and struggling to nap, but we’ve mostly made it over those hurdles. Sera only felt compelled to visit the day care over lunch the first day, and from there on, we’ve been plowing forward.

What’s more important than our fears subsiding is seeing Gracelyn thriving. She’s having stories read to her. She’s making art projects. Most importantly to Sera, she’s listening to music from “The Lion King” soundtrack. Her ability to play with new toys, feel new textures and experience other babies has opened up a whole new world that Sera and I would not have been able to provide for her on our own. Would we love being able to stay home with her? Yes, but it’s comforting to see the intentional care she is receiving when she is not with us.

Our ability to give Gracelyn a hug goodbye and walk out the door most weekdays all stems on trust. You have to trust that the people watching her are well trained and have her best interests in mind. You have to trust that what you’re doing instead of spending time with your child is a worthy task. You have to trust that your daughter won’t forget about you because another person is doing such a great job caring for her.

Trust is hard. Sera and I are both thankful that we’ve been able to see such a positive experience come from our vulnerability, but that isn’t always the case. When we first sought day care, almost every single spot was filled. Upon making our deposit to Gracelyn’s child care center, we were putting our trust into basically our only option. There are days when you run out of options, and you have to simply trust that what has been handed to you is the best it can be.

As you read today’s paper, you’re likely seeing some difficult stories. Maybe there was a fire, or perhaps a criminal is sentenced, or another car theft. These stories capture just a glimpse in time for those affected, yet their journey goes forward, rooted in trust. Does the person who had their car stolen vow never to drive again? No, hopefully not. They put their trust in the fact that what has happened once isn’t likely to happen again. Sometimes it takes a while to rebuild that, but it needs to be done.

These last two or so weeks of child care have reminded both Sera and myself that sometimes you have to make a difficult decision and trust that it will be OK. Sometimes that difficult decision can turn out to be incredibly great, but you can’t get there without the risk, without trusting that all will be well. It’s a lesson we’ll be remembering the next time we’re putting our trust in someone or something when it’s not so easy.

 

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.