Kelly Wassenberg is a news clerk at the Albert Lea Tribune and can be reached at kelly.wassenberg@albertleatribune.com.

Blue lives matter. Black lives matter. All lives matter.

I see these phrases causing a lot of division lately and, personally, I don’t see it being as simple as choosing a, b or c.

First of all, police officers go above and beyond the call of duty every day to protect the communities they serve. We should all honor and respect their sacrifices. I believe I can feel this way and still be outraged at the idea of a police officer abusing the authority they have been given. I should not have to choose between those two concepts.

By the same token, I don’t feel like anyone should rush to judge the police officer or the victim in cases of suspected police misconduct.

I hear a lot of “If they did this, this wouldn’t have happened.”

As a parent of an autistic child, that notion terrifies me. My daughter stands over 5 foot 10 inches tall and she looks just as normal as most 15-year-olds, but she doesn’t talk, can’t understand multi-step instructions and can be combatant when scared or confused. That doesn’t give a police officer the right to manhandle her if they ask her to get out of a car and she doesn’t comply. Every situation is different, yet the expectation should be the same. Police officers should use the least amount of force necessary in any situation.

In situations where the least amount of force necessary leads to a fatality, we need to remember the officer and not just the mournful family the suspect leaves behind. There is a human being behind every police badge; one that chose that profession because they wanted to make a difference. The situations they deal with on a daily basis are far more complex than speeding tickets and petty moving violations. They have to remain strong when the woman who looks just like their little girl describes their rape. They have to respond to scenes of car accidents, suicides and crime scenes. There will be times that they can receive the gratification of being able to give aid and make the situation a little bit easier for someone else, but there will be other times when the best they can do is file a report and notify next of kin. Most of us could never imagine how much a police officer’s memory has been scarred from what they’ve seen, yet they still show up for their next shift. The overwhelming majority of police officers are the exemplary men and women. I would wrap my arms around every officer on the force in gratitude if I had the opportunity.

The issue of race is an entirely different matter. I remember watching O.J. Simpson racing down a freeway in a white Bronco and hearing someone on television say it was an issue of racism. Simpson had previously been accused of abusing his ex-wife who was murdered. Suspecting he might have had a hand in her death was not racism; it was common sense.

Am I saying racism doesn’t exist? Absolutely not. It exists when assumptions are made about the actions of white police officers arresting African-American suspects, and it exists when assumptions are made about an African-American being detained by a police officer. Racism is a two-way street that is just as ugly, regardless of which way it is traveled.

To me, the debate over slogans is just a demonstration of society’s need to open the door to communication.

If I was to say, “My daughter’s life matters,” I’m not saying that my son’s life doesn’t matter. It would be a confession that at times I have felt like her life doesn’t matter as much to others as it does to me, because I sometimes feel like she is viewed as less because of her disability. If someone’s response to me was, “All childrens’ lives matter,” I might feel like my feelings were being belittled. I might even point out that, “All childrens’ lives can’t matter until hers does too.” Does this logic not apply to black lives matter, blue lives matter and all lives matter?

This issue will not be settled over an argument on labels. It will be settled when there comes a day when a crime against someone of any sex, race, religion, age, disability status or sexual orientation is seen as a crime against humanity, and therefore a crime against us all.