Things I Tell My Wife by Matt Knutson

“I never imagined wanting to go Black Friday shopping with the goal being to come home with a ladder,” I told Sera as we planned for one of the biggest shopping days of the year. At the ripe age of 27, I’m starting to wonder if we’ve settled into adulthood too strongly. Gone are the days of staying up all night in line to bring home a giant flat-screen television. We’re now living in the reality of casually walking into a store midday and hoping for the best.

I think what a person does on Black Friday might be a good indicator as to what stage in life they’re at currently. I’ve participated in Black Friday in one way or another for the last several years in vastly different ways. I vaguely recall standing outside a Target in the dark of the night with an incredible cold wind blowing while we hoped to come home with a new television. Last year, Sera and I spent the day scooping up deals on baby-related items, including a pack and play and stroller. This year, we’re hoping to walk away with a ladder and vacuum.

It’s a little sad, isn’t it? It is OK to admit it. We’re aging out of the cool electronics and gadgets and into the practical purchases. Of course I’m eyeing the cool robot vacuums, but I know that’s not what we will leave the store with today. Something as simple as a vacuum that automatically cleans the floors for us would never work in the home of our 9-month-old. As quick as we pick up the toys, she pulls them out of the basket with far more gusto than we have putting them back in. An automated vacuum cleaner could never handle navigating all of those traps. On the ladder front, I found myself disappointed. I did a quick online search to see if there was something like a high-tech ladder, only to realize that pretty much required me inventing a portable escalator. Needless to say, a regular ladder is far more likely to be purchased on Black Friday.

The fact that we’re able to go shopping on Black Friday is some indication that we’re financially stable, which is a luxury a lot of people don’t have. In our college days, I think I only bought cheap clothes on Black Friday. We’ve entered a new stage of life, and Black Friday is a clear indicator of that. The rest of the “days” that come after Thanksgiving also indicate what life stage a person may be in. The people participating in Small Business Saturday are likely different than the ones waiting in the long lines on Black Friday. I love supporting small businesses, but it’s not something I did as often when we were on a tighter budget. A lot of Cyber Monday deals have already been posted, so I thought I’d attempt to do that this year as well. When Amazon.com proposed window locks as the top pick for me, I knew this wasn’t going to boost my perception of self. Finally, Giving Tuesday rolls around and I’ll find myself donating to a few different organizations that I’ve already given to this year, just because it’s important to support those who are most in need when I’ve clearly been able to spend money on myself and family member for the past several days in a row.

So if you’re like me and find yourself spending your time and money differently this Black Friday, know that you’re not alone. It’s all a part of growing up. I can’t imagine the high school or college version of myself being OK with the fact that I spent a solid chunk of time tonight reading vacuum cleaner reviews in preparation for Black Friday, but right now, I’m feeling pretty darn good about it.

Whatever stage of life you’re in, whether it be going crazy on Black Friday and purchasing your dream (expensive) camera or watching from the sidelines until another year where hopefully you’ll be able to afford something on your wish list, know that every year is different. We normally spend New Year’s Eve as a time of reflection over who we are and who we want to become in the next year, but perhaps starting earlier allows more time to grow. What stage of life do you want to be in for your next Black Friday, and how do you plan to get there? For me, I think I’ll plan on winning the lottery. That could be a great next stage.

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.