Something About Nothing, by Julie Seedorf

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com.

It’s that time of year again. It’s time to write that dreaded Christmas letter. I say dreaded because some people love to receive Christmas letters and others not so much. I also use dreaded for the people who are so busy it is a task to get their Christmas letter written, much less mailed.

In checking back on my past Christmas letters I seem to always start them out with the sentence: “It’s hard to believe another year has passed and it is time to write the Christmas letter again.” Or, I inform people what our weather is like in this neck of the woods. You would think as a writer I would pen clever and inspirational Christmas letters, but as I demonstrated, I write the same thing year after year. I also always struggle when mentioning the occupations my children have. I always describe them wrong. Maybe I don’t listen when they explain them to me or maybe they are complicated jobs I don’t understand.

I actually enjoy receiving Christmas letters, and I keep them for a year and revisit them to see what has changed in the lives of my friends from year to year.

This year I am contemplating only sending Christmas cards to those friends and family members that are not on Facebook or social media. Nothing I write will be new to any of them because we keep in touch all year long. Maybe I will just send a beautiful card. I love to get mail, and I hope others do too. There is something about the card in the mail that says I am thinking about you. It can inspire warm fuzzy feelings in many of us.

My to-do list this year is small, especially if I don’t sent out cards. I have a few presents to wrap for my friends and family. I simplified to two barrels of Christmas decorations and they are up. Our family Christmas will be elsewhere on a different weekend from Christmas so I don’t have to plan a meal or super clean my house. I am grateful for this because I can enjoy the reason for the season.

My grandchildren’s mother gifted us tickets to “Home Free” next weekend in Mankato, and I have time to attend other Christmas concerts at school and churches. I can sit at night and read a Christmas story and enjoy the warmth of the Christmas lights and my fireplace. I am at peace without the hustle and the bustle I usually go through to try and make our Christmas perfect.

Here’s the thing about trying to make a perfect Christmas for ourselves and our families. It is never perfection, and we always feel deflated when our planning doesn’t work out. I would burn vegetables, and the presents I thought everyone would like were occasionally a bomb; or we would be alone on Christmas Day because of sharing our children with their spouse’s families or them wanting to create their own memories with their children and I would feel lost.

The Christmases we had that were the most special were those where expectations didn’t exist and we sat back and relaxed and let the day happen.

The Christmas season is not a joyous season for everyone because of illness and loss or loneliness. These feelings are fed by what we are taught to believe about holidays. We believe holidays are a time for celebration and family and friends and if we can’t experience that it makes us feel we are missing something. Those feelings are fed by all we see and hear in society and by past Christmas celebrations that now have changed.

I have felt all of those feelings at holidays at some time or another. It wasn’t until I realized that it’s a day with a name — yes an important day — but it really is a day like yesterday and tomorrow. It just has a name that is connected to special days in the church and in our society. My family and friends can celebrate with me on another day. It is what we choose to do with it that matters. Once I realized those facts, I quit crying if we were alone, realizing next year may be different.

Merry Christmas. I will steal the words from a song and advise you this holiday to reach out to your neighbor, reach out to a friend, reach out to a person on the street, but also reach out to yourself and show yourself some kindness and love so you too can experience the calm and peacefulness and the reason for the season.