Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

I love kitchen gadgets. I have many cute little kitchen tools in my drawers that I have accumulated over the years from Tupperware parties and other niche events I attended. The problem with acquiring those gadgets is that I forget how they are meant to be used.

I still like newspapers you can hold in your hands and read, and during the holidays those papers are filled with sales. I find myself wanting items I don’t need but think are unique. I also find myself looking at items and wondering why anyone would buy them.

Bacon racks for the microwave were on sale this week. I wasn’t tempted. How hard is it to throw bacon in the frying pan or put it on a plate in the microwave on top of a paper towel, covered with a paper towel to cook the bacon? Another easy way is baking the bacon in the oven. Someone must like bacon racks because they are selling.

I throw my eggs in a pan of water when I want hard-boiled eggs. However, I can buy an electric hard-boiled egg cooker. It would only cost me $24 and cupboard space. I could add it to my cupboard that contains my bread maker, my ice tea maker, my quesadilla press and a few other things that are sitting on my shelves that I don’t use.

When I look at the ads I get a case of the “I wants.” I think I would like a veggie bullet, a disco ball drink cup (they are so cute) iRobot, a colorful lighted shower head and my list can go on, and it does, especially if the items are peculiar and cute.

Toys are my weakness. I love to buy toys for my grandchildren. Unfortunately, the toys I love aren’t necessarily the toys they love, but what does it matter — I get such great joy in giving them that which I like.

Shark Tank, the ABC program where millionaires invest in entrepreneurs also gets my attention. Around Christmas time, I get the urge to want something on their program. I like the items the Sharks do not always want, and I can’t understand why they didn’t invest in some of the silly items. I find myself googling the item to see if it is available. The last item I googled, which was a Snuggy shirt, wasn’t available. It is probably a good thing as everyone in my family would have received one under the tree. It saved me money by not being available.

I do find my contentment challenged when I view ads in the paper or ads on my iPhone for gadgets, toys and clothes. It is hard to determine when the “I wants” hit if I would use one of those quick purchases. On a side note, I always buy books.

I have found myself in the past buying things for my grandkids that will take up space in their parent’s cupboards, such as a cotton candy maker, an ice cream maker and a doughnut maker. It is one of those things where we love it when we get it, and after a few days, it goes in the cupboard — never to see the light of day again until it goes out the front door to a new home.

Of course, I do the same thing with Christmas decorations. The ads speak to me and make me believe I need more decorations. The boxes in the basement mount up year after year until the Christmas decorations take up an entire room. Last year I made the choice to send some decorations out the door when I took them down, and I did. I only was left with three boxes for this year.

Before Christmas last year, my large tree went out the door, too, to my son’s home. It was a beautiful tree but our family usually has Christmas at my daughter’s home now because she has more room and wanted to take over the work and festivities. I settled for hanging my ornaments around my windows and decorating was easy. I felt good about giving away my tree. My mega large stuffed reindeer from my high school years also went to my son’s house because my grandson loved it.

This year my kids surprised me with the idea they wanted Christmas here. I don’t have a tree. My granddaughter wondered how that was going to work. I wondered the same thing. And then a friend stepped in and said they had three trees and they didn’t need all three. I suspect he wants to pare down, too, so one of his trees came to my house.

Have you ever had the problem where you gave something away only to need it a short time later? My shysters, Boris and Natasha, were the main reason we became treeless. They love to climb the Christmas tree during the night when my husband and I are snoring in the bedroom. We hoped after having a year without a tree they might have outgrown their lumberjack tendencies.

We set the tree up. We left it lightless and empty the first night. I heard a thump and then another thump toward morning. Seventeen-pound Boris was attempting to sleep on the lower branches of the Christmas tree. I think the next time I have a tree in the front yard whose branches need trimming I will just use Boris. He makes a great tree trimmer.

Do you have a case of the “I wants” when the ads tickle your fancy? I think I need to find the ads for pet products. Maybe if I buy Boris and Natasha their own tree they won’t try and trim mine.

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com.