Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

 

When I first heard that the government was going to shut down, my initial thought was “of course they are.” I was neither surprised or in an uproar. Just the current state of everything going on, it seemed perfectly natural they would allow their fight to spill into the new year and drip chaos on the general populous.

Then a few weeks in and it was looking certain we would not be getting a paycheck. This is when the internal stress started to build. It seems the government shuts down all the time, but not long enough to disrupt our monthly budget. I am a happy individual. I don’t like to complain. I am a firm believer that what you put out is what you get, so I’m all about spraying positive vibes on everyone like it’s from a firetruck’s hose — blast everyone right in the face with my smiles and high-fives.

I started to become more tired, I snapped more at my kids and it was hard to look forward to day-to-day things I enjoyed. I couldn’t see it at the time, but this stress was really starting to depress me. I cried. I prayed. I cried some more. Always in secret. Only one friend really knew how intensely I was freaking out about how I was going to budget the last of our money.

Then a text came from a church friend. She was letting me know that her mother was going to stop by and bring over some tortillas. Oh man, I love her homemade tortillas. I met her mother outside, and she handed me a large bag of rice and a few bags of fresh, still hot tortillas. I hugged and thanked her and ran inside. It was one of the 58 snow days we had, so all my children were watching a movie at the time. I told them to pause their show and come to the kitchen.

We sat on the kitchen floor around the gift that was just given to us. I had yet to explain any of our situation to our children because why burden them with something they have no control over? I realized it was time to let them in, just a little. I asked them if they knew about the shutdown (one had) and if they knew who daddy worked for (two did). I explained that we weren’t getting paid right now, but eventually we would be. Eventually it will all work itself out. But right now, at this moment, mommy is a little stressed out. We still need to pay our bills, and we still need to buy groceries.

I asked them to pray with me while we sat around our rice and warm tortillas. Here the four of us sat on our not-so-clean kitchen floor in prayer. My friend did not know the level of stress we were under. She also couldn’t have known that she just brought me my favorite kind of rice. I mean, not everyone makes jasmine rice,  and it was the exact bag I buy! What a coincidence! But it wasn’t.

It was my Father in Heaven sending me a sign. I wasn’t praying for Imperial Dragon Jasmine rice, but I was praying for peace, guidance, comfort and help to get through this. He knows all things and he can see what my shortsightedness can’t. Often during our lows we feel alone, but he wanted to let me know that he sees me. He hears my prayers, and he is right here, where he’s always been.

It was at this moment that I could see how tired and unhappy I had become, and I explained to my children that I was sorry for yelling at them earlier. It didn’t make their actions OK, but I didn’t need to yell so loud. We all hugged, they asked if I could make rice for dinner and then they went back to watching their show.

I didn’t go back to what I was doing. My whole disposition changed. My mind went from a place of “How are we going to get through this?” to “I’m not sure how, but I know that Heavenly Father will help us get through this.” There was a crack in the clouds, and a little light was getting through.

Over the next week or two, we had so many wonderful people reach out to us. Gift cards, gas, groceries and the thoughtful messages. See here’s something people forget. God is using us to answer the prayers of others. Sometimes a hug or short message is exactly what we need.

God cannot give me a hug, but you can. God cannot put his hand on my shoulder and give me a comforting look, but you can. God cannot send me an uplifting text, but you can. And you did. You were all literally the hands and feet and mouth of our Savior when you reached out to us, and I’m so thankful for all of you.

This world is stressful. Jobs, kids, bills, death, sickness, dating, dieting, budgeting, shoveling all the snow. Everyone is going through something — everyone. I received so much love and kindness during this hard time. I also was a lot more appreciative of the love and kindness given to me. I can honestly say the last time my friend brought over tortillas, I did not sit on my kitchen floor and weep tears of joy for them, but maybe I should have.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams.