Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

 

My son comes up to me holding back tears. I can see he has something he needs to tell me. It takes him a moment to get the words out, so I give him a hug to calm him. As the tears stream down his face, Hans finally opens up.

A boy called his friend ugly — said she had bad teeth and needed braces. This made Hans angry to hear, so he pushed him. Another child saw this and told an adult that my son pushed a kid. So Hans got in trouble and was now crying in my lap.

As I hugged him, I asked if maybe there was a better way he could have responded without pushing. At the thought of this, Hans pulled his teary head out from my chest and said, “but you told me that if I ever see anyone getting bullied that I need to stand up for them!”

He wasn’t wrong.

A few weeks ago I heard of a little boy who was being picked on at camp. The counselors caught it, and the offender was dealt with. When I asked my children about it, I discovered that my son was aware of he situation. He said some of the boys were mean. It never occurred to my son to tell an adult or to interfere. I don’t want to raise children who idly sit by as others are mistreated. I will not have my son grow into a man who witnesses injustice and then goes about his day as if nothing happened.

So I pulled Hans aside and explained that if he sees something he needs to do something. I asked him how he would feel if someone was being mean to him and other kids just stood around, watched and did nothing. How would he feel if he was being picked on and no one helped him? I could see his little face get both angry and sad at the thought of being isolated and bullied with no one willing to help. He agreed to help the next time he saw something.

If he’s in a situation where there isn’t an adult to tell, then he needs to do something. I explained that he might not feel very brave, and that’s OK. He can just walk up and stand next to the person being picked on so they aren’t alone. He can invite them to go play with him somewhere else. He can tell the bullies to stop. He can tell them to be nice. We even went over a few scenarios to practice.

I never told him to push or hit. But that doesn’t matter. He’s a little boy who witnessed his friend getting picked on. Instead of ignoring it or running away, he dug deep. He stood there and he stood up for her the only way his 10-year-old brain could muster up at the time. He pushed the kid.

My son just experienced that sickening rush you get when you stand up to someone. That lump in your throat— I think I might throw up but I don’t care I have to do something adrenaline rush.

Did the kid stop being mean? Sure did. Am I happy my child pushed another kid? No. I would have preferred my son had used his words. Am I proud my son stood up for another human being? You better believe it. So dang proud.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams.