Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

 

It has occurred to me that I probably have people out there who don’t like me. Some of these people may avoid me, while others pretend to be my friend and tolerate me when they have to. I could get fired up about it. I could defend myself or tell the story from my side. I could go out of my way to be extra polite and make sure that my voice is extra cheery the next time I see them. I could do a lot of things to try and win back these people who don’t care for me. But I won’t, and I’ll tell you why.

I’m in my late 30s. About the time I hit 33, I noticed that my Care-O-Meter was running low. I realized I had so much stuff to handle that I simply didn’t have time to worry about what other people thought of me. I definitely was not thinking about any of them — I was too busy! People spend too much of their day complaining about others, or gossiping about what so-and-so did. Well, guess what. You don’t have to believe, understand or care about other people’s actions. Let. It. Go.

I believe we were put on this earth to grow, make mistakes, learn from them and continue to grow. I believe we were given the perfect example in Jesus Christ and that he died for us so that when we made mistakes, we could come to him and know that he would heal us. I believe that all of us fall short, and we all need him. I have taken ownership of my life, and that’s all I can do. I can’t change anyone else, and their opinion of me doesn’t matter.

I saw a quote the other day about a plate. It said something like you shouldn’t judge someone else for saying they have a full plate when you don’t think it’s full. You don’t know if they have a smaller plate than you or a flimsy paper plate compared to your ceramic one. Basically we all have trials and struggles here on this earth. You might look at someone and think, “Oh, they have it easy; they only have to deal with xyz” — or “I don’t know why this person falters all the time; their struggle is easy.”

Case in point. I’ve been told if I don’t want to gain weight, then I should just not eat so much. Obviously the person I’m talking to does not struggle with food. To them, my problem is easily solved. To me and others with a similar struggle, it is a day-in and day-out mind battle that can last years and even a lifetime.

Raising your kids might come easier to you. Going to work every day, making nutritious meals, showing up on time, hitting the gym, balancing your checkbook, penciling in perfect eyebrows, not yelling at your spouse, keeping a tidy home, knowing when to split hostas — any or all of these things might come easy to you. I think a big lesson in this life is to realize that we are not all built the same. We have different talents and different gifts and, in turn, different struggles. To understand that, to truly understand that, to realize that we are all imperfect in some way, is really freeing.

So if someone doesn’t like me for one reason or another, it just doesn’t bother me. I mean, yeah, for the first few minutes I’m bummed and questioning all my awesomeness, but then I get over it pretty quick. If someone has decided to unfriend me or judge me because I was less than perfect in some way, that’s OK. They are allowed to do whatever they want to curate their life in the way they choose. To quote Anthony Hopkins, “It’s none of my business what people say of me and think of me. I am what I am, and I do what I do. I expect nothing and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier.”

We need to stop expecting perfection out of people. Stop being disappointed by their shortcomings. The sooner we see our friends and family as the flawed yet beautiful people they are, the sooner we can enjoy the good moments we do have.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams.