EN(dur)ANCE by Robin Gudal

 

Recently a young man was sharing with me about service calls he made for his employer.

Often, when entering an elderly person’s home, they would repeat this statement to him, “I don’t know why I am still here.”

It troubled him. He was at the beginning stages of adult life; they were in the last stages.

I had an experience years ago that helped me at the same stage of his life, to answer that question. I worked at St. Luke’s Nursing Home in Blue Earth many moons ago. There was a woman who was on the rounds who I, as a nursing assistant, cared for. She was tall, very thin and had been there for many years; she was also non-verbal. I only remember her being in bed, however, I presume we got her out of bed and into a chair as bedsores are always a concern for those in such a situation.

I knew a relative of this woman; thus, I knew faith was of importance to her. I distinctly remember staff talking during their care of her, and I was bothered by some of the conversation.  Words like, “a waste,” “what a life,” “she just lays there,” “what’s the purpose.” Pity, shame, waste, oh, what terrible words and even worse; the implication of no worth to her life.

“You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something. Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth; all the stages of my life were spread out before you, the days of my life all prepared before I’d even lived one day.”  Psalm 138:15-16

Did you catch that? “All the stages of my life?” I don’t understand all things within my faith journey; I don’t understand why bad things happen to good people as an example. I do know, however, that I will trust in all seasons of life.

“The secret things belong to the Lord our God, but the things revealed belong to us and to our children forever, that we may follow all the words of this law.” Deuteronomy 29:29 -New International Version. Note that if you continue to read my columns you will likely memorize this verse, as I lean into its truth often.

I was saddened by such talk. I was young, so likely not sure how to process such disrespect toward life. One thing I did know was truth. I believed she had worth. I believed it would be terribly hard to be living the life she was. I believed Jesus loved her.

One day, as I was alone in her room, taking care of basic human needs, I leaned into her ear and said, “Greene, Jesus loves you!” A simple truth. Kind words. A comfort. What happened next is like it happened yesterday, over 35 years later. It radically rocked my world, firmly framed my thoughts of a life’s worth; it profoundly impacted me!

“I know he does,” she said.

She heard. She spoke. I ran to the nurse’s station. I demanded it be documented. She hears. She comprehends. Her life is not a waste! She has value.

To this day, I honestly can’t say what the purpose of her long suffering was, or the intense pain of hearing people add, I am sure, to her own questioning, but something in me wonders if I was a part of her purpose. That split moment in time has been foundational to my life, to the worth of all life, all seasons and all situations. Her life changed me! I have shared her impact more times than I can count. We may not always understand; but as Aibileen Clark says in the movie “The Help,” “You is important!”

Never, ever forget; you have value. You have worth. You are loved. Your life matters!

“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11-NIV

I was honored years ago to also be a part of another story. Different ,yes, but once again, proof that all life matters. She was a teenager. Cancer invaded her body with no mercy, changing her family forever. She was very brave. At 19 she taught me so many lessons; lessons of life, endurance, purpose and how to die with purpose. She impacted many lives eternally. I hope at my time of death, I will walk the journey with as much grace and purpose as she did.

Fast forward to recently; I was at a relative’s wedding. The father of the bride was holding on for this day. As we were leaving, I leaned in near his wheelchair.

I encouraged him by speaking, “Joe, soon you will have a new body.”

He grabbed my hand, and whispered through labored breath, “I can’t wait!” Then communicated he was not afraid. This man’s life also consumed by cancer, way to young, yet hopeful! An eternal hope!

“For we know that when this earthly tent we live in is taken down (that is, when we die and leave this earthly body), we will have a house in heaven, an eternal body made for us by God himself and not by human hands. We grow weary in our present bodies, and we long to put on our heavenly bodies like new clothing. For we will put on heavenly bodies; we will not be spirits without bodies. While we live in these earthly bodies, we groan and sigh, but it’s not that we want to die and get rid of these bodies that clothe us. Rather, we want to put on our new bodies so that these dying bodies will be swallowed up by life. God himself has prepared us for this, and as a guarantee he has given us his Holy Spirit. So we are always confident, even though we know that as long as we live in these bodies we are not at home with the Lord. For we live by believing and not by seeing. Yes, we are fully confident, and we would rather be away from these earthly bodies, for then we will be at home with the Lord. So whether we are here in this body or away from this body, our goal is to please him. For we must all stand before Christ to be judged. We will each receive whatever we deserve for the good or evil we have done in this earthly body.” 2 Corinthians 5:1-10 (NLT)  

It is my prayer as a Christian that we who claim his name live a life that challenges in love those without such hope. Let us not grow weary in sharing love, his forgiveness, his grace and his redemptive power. Blessed be the memory of those who have taught us in their death; true life.

To quote my friend Stan, “I will live until I die and then my real life will begin.” He is really living now!

Robin (Beckman) Gudal, intentional in life, is a wife, momma, nana, friend, and a flawed and imperfect follower of Jesus.