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Live United by Erin Haag

Often my readers tell me they enjoy the stories, the snippets about my children, about my personal life and how my work affects me personally. It’s relatable, sometimes humorous or tugs at the heartstrings. It most definitely is personal. At times, I’m asked if I mind being so personal with my stories, about sharing my life.

Organizations must tell a powerful story that paints a picture of the needs and the work that’s being done to address the need. It must inspire people to volunteer, contribute and engage. The most powerful stories are truly authentic, and it takes work to get there. It takes vulnerability. 

An important tenant of the work I do is to respect the privacy of our clients — our clients who are our neighbors, our friends, the parent in the pickup line or the cashier at the grocery store. Throughout my nonprofit career, I’ve had the “collect testimonials every chance you get” hammered into me. I can’t pinpoint what shifted this change for me, but it was a very personal revelation that resonated with me on a visceral level. I began looking at storytelling a little more critically. Sure, having a client that United Way has helped can be incredibly powerful. It can be powerful for the audience to hear it, and powerful for the client to share their story. It can be challenging though to be ethical in storytelling. It requires deep consent — truly ensuring the owner of the story knows how and where their story will be used, and the potential implications of it. It requires the recognition that telling the story again can retraumatize the client. What happens if the client is held up as this brave person who conquers all, and then they struggle again later? Would that have an impact on their self esteem, would it deter them from seeking help again because they don’t want to be seen as a failure? 

There’s power in sharing stories, power in sharing your story. But everyone has the inherent right to choose their story, how it’s told and what level of sharing it is. I think about my own vulnerability in some of my own personal stories. One of the biggest is the loss of a child. I know some of my mama friends have experienced this, and each year they share their stories so that others know they’re not alone. So, they can grieve and remember and even celebrate together. This is important, it’s needed and I’m glad they’re doing that. For me though…I’ve never wanted to share my story beyond the surface details I’ve given here. For me, it is absolutely retraumatizing, and I grieve deeply all over again. 

Here’s where I have power though. I have the power to choose to share that snippet — and it’s only a snippet of my personal story. I also have the power to ensure that the clients we serve are given absolute respect by not always asking for their stories. We provide opportunities for them to share. However, I’m finding that what works well is to share our story — the stories of the staff, board members, volunteers and how we’re impacted by the work we do. We embrace the vulnerability ourselves so we’re not asking our clients to do so. 

That doesn’t mean we won’t share client stories at all. I’ve shared them, written about them and will keep doing so. The key is in that consideration about how to do it ethically. Sometimes it’s stories from my past — clients that I encountered in other positions, in other states, with so many layers of anonymity that it’s not exposing anyone unintentionally. Sometimes, it’s because we’ve met someone who asks for their story to tell — who wants their story told. They’ve provided that deep consent. 

In this season of giving, if you wonder why we don’t share the stories quite at the level of other organizations, especially the ones that mail pictures to your home — this is why. There’s no commercial of mournful puppies and kittens in cages and a Sarah McLachlan song that’s going to happen for us — because even the “success stories” can be challenging to do ethically. Instead, I’ll take on that role of vulnerability, and I’ll share the work we do, the impact we see and how it resonates deep within us. I hope that our readers will be able to read between the lines and recognize the depths of those experiences. 

If you’d like to be a part of the story, we invite you to join us. Give us a call at 507-373-8670 to find out how to volunteer for programs such as the Welcome Pantry, Winter Gear Drive or even to apply to be a board member or committee member. There is a wide variety of opportunities to become involved. Of course, monetary donations that help fund this important work is also welcome. Donations may be mailed to PO Box 686, Albert Lea, MN 56007. As always, thank you for your time, your talents, your feedback and for Giving Where You Live, in whatever capacity you choose to do so. 

Erin Haag is the executive director of the United Way of Freeborn County.