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Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

I had a small deck on the back of my house when we purchased it. It was older, and not as large as I had wanted, but it did the trick. I knew someday I would build something that better suited our needs, so I tried not to concern myself with it. When the timing was right, it would happen.

After months of planning and price checking, the long wait was almost over. Before we could build the composite backyard space of my dreams, we had to tear out the old deck first. It was messy, hard work, and for a few days, we had no deck at all.

Was I sad that I was temporarily deckless? Not one bit. I knew that this demolition was necessary if I was to put something better there. I had a clear understanding that removal of the old was required. I knew it would consume time and money, and I had weighed all the pros and cons. I was informed and prepared for the transition.

Sometimes when things are falling apart, they may actually be falling into place.

I made a conscious decision to tear apart my deck to make room for the new one. Unfortunately life isn’t usually that organized. Usually when things fall apart, we feel very helpless and our understanding is far from clear. We had a vision for how we wanted something to turn out and now we have to come to terms with the fact that the cards we’ve been dealt are not the ones we hoped for.

Many years ago I had a job that I loved and saw myself retiring from. At the time, I couldn’t imagine ever working anywhere else. Through a series of events and leadership changes, eventually I realized it was time for me to leave. It was hard for me to say goodbye to the dream I held, but over time it became easier. In hindsight, I can clearly see that I had to go through those experiences to prepare me for the role I have today. If I was still working there, I would have missed out on all the opportunities I’ve been given since then. It was actually a blessing that I left.

My best friend is going through the painful process of getting a divorce. When she got married almost 20 years ago, her intention was to be married forever. So when she realized that this would be the outcome, she was devastated. She felt like a failure and began to question every choice she had made. Perhaps if she would have done this differently, or said that instead, maybe she could have saved her marriage.

It has taken months for her to realize that she was in an emotionally abusive relationship and getting a divorce was necessary. Is she still sad? Of course, but she can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. She can already feel the positive effects and she knows that a better life is waiting for her.

As we get the bad news, or are in the midst of going through the “falling apart,” it is almost impossible to see what good could possibly come of this. We don’t have the luxury of planning our life’s remodels. It’s OK if for a while your vision of what’s to come isn’t clear. Just remember to hang in there because something better is currently falling into place.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams. Her column appears in the Tribune every Saturday.