April Jeppson: Adults need a village to help out in life, too

Published 8:45 pm Friday, July 26, 2024

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Every Little Thing by April Jeppson

A child gets hurt at the park, people go over to check until a parent gets there. You see your neighbor’s toddler waddling their way towards danger, you swoop in and divert them. We understand that in our school groups, kids activities and neighborhoods, the adults pitch in to help out the kids. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and it’s true.

April Jeppson

But why doesn’t this expression apply to adults? At what point do we “age out” of the village care model? Honestly, I don’t think we ever do.

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I know I need a village. I need someone who is a good listener. I need the optimist, and I need the realist. I need a co-dreamer, a filter and a good hug giver. I need someone to listen to my ideas and cheer me on. And, I need the person to listen to my ideas and ask the difficult questions. I need someone who will call me out when I need it, and force me to hear the hard but necessary truths about myself.

I have a friend who is very organized. It takes her 15 minutes to do what it would take me two hours. I used to beat myself up for not being able to be organized in such a manner. Now I am thankful that I know someone who is willing to give her gift of organization to me.

I have a friend who jumps on every dream and idea I have like it’s the best thing she’s ever heard. She’s my hype man when I’m feeling down and helps me see myself through her eyes. Even the happiest of us needs an occasional boost and reminder of just how wonderful we are made.

I have a friend who says she’s praying for me, and I know for certain that she is. Another who reads everything I write, another who is generous, another who challenges me to work out and another who simply challenges my way of thinking.

I could keep going.

I used to feel embarrassed by how much I needed “my people.” That’s my unofficial name for my village. My people are just … I don’t know, better. I’m not saying that they are better than you or your friends. I’m saying that they are better for me. My world is better with them in it. My people make me a better person.

I was talking to one such amazing individual today and said, “You know how I can take things too far, I need you to stop me if you see I’m starting to go overboard.” She smiled at me, but she agreed to slow my role if needed. A few hours later she politely redirected me, and I recognized that she was doing the thing I asked her to help me with. How wonderful!

I believe deeply that we were created to need others. We were created this way with great intention. When Paul, a follower of Jesus, wrote about how the followers of Jesus best function, he mentioned how every person has a role to play and that every role is crucial. Each role plays a part that the others need.

Somehow I think we’ve lost the importance of that concept in our day to day interactions with others. All of us, everywhere, need people. We need others who have gifts we do not. We need others who celebrate us. We need others to join us. We need a village.

Albert Lean April Jeppson is a wife, mom, coach and encourager of dreams. Her column appears every Saturday.