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Live United by Erin Haag

As a young adult, one of the things that I missed was having my birthday celebrated on my actual birthday and having it acknowledged by my work. It wasn’t something that I ever really thought about or knew I missed at the time. Birthdays weren’t huge deals in our house, but there would be a family dinner and a cake on the weekend following. I was working multiple jobs, not living in the same town as my family and just busy. Then, it never seemed like a big deal. My husband and I had our first date the weekend before my birthday. We went to a movie, and sat in a coffee shop talking and he bravely came to my family birthday dinner the very next night. We lived in towns an hour and a half apart at that time, but we were talking on the phone most days. The day of my actual birthday was a Tuesday, and late that evening, he called me to wish me a happy birthday. I was startled to realize that he was the only person to wish me a happy birthday on that day, and that no one at my work had realized it was my birthday.

Four years later, I moved with my husband to Minnesota. We celebrated birthdays, we’d go out to dinner, we’d do something special. Our daughter was born, and we were in the thick of new parenthood and busy days and busier nights. One year, my daughter was proud to present me with a small round purple cake. I burst into tears, and I was so emotional over this small, simple birthday cake. It surprised everyone, including myself, but I realized that I hadn’t had a birthday cake in a few years. I hadn’t consciously missed having a birthday cake, and we had been celebrating with dinners out, and flowers on the table, etc., but that little purple cake that I got to blow candles off of was the best thing I’d had in years. In the years since, I’ve always had a cake, but that little purple cake is still pretty clear in my memory as a special one.

There’s a growing trend that “work is like a family” is not considered a good thing, because there’s a lot of discussion that it can actually mean having poor boundaries and life/work balance, etc. That’s all true, and I work very hard to make sure we don’t fall into that trap. The thing is, we see each other nearly every day. We share gummy bears, and we laugh and share funny stories. Add in other layers like Rosemary’s youngest two and my two kids are good friends, and Krissy knows what my son had for lunch at camp at the Y that day, and Daylynn’s cutie pie granddaughter looks up to my daughter … well … isn’t this a kind of family?

When I started my position here, I resolved to be the kind of manager that celebrated birthdays, and we have. We’ve had lunches out, banners and streamers and of course — cake, except for the one person who didn’t like cake. A couple of years ago, I found a Happy Birthday yard sign, and I snatched that right up. I make the birthday person pose for pictures, and in generally do the dorky things. My team have done the same for me and it’s fun.

We want to do the same for our volunteers, but it’s a little harder. We haven’t quite figured out how to do this, since it’s a revolving door, and different people are here on different days. We have a birthday poster with the monthly birthdays, and our sign-in tablet will shoot digital confetti when the birthday person signs in. I still want a volunteer birthday cake though. I promise we’re going to figure out a logistical way to do it and include everyone!

This month, I’m celebrating two birthdays! Today is Rosemary’s birthday, so if you happen to see her out and about at the Farmer’s Market or somewhere with her family, please wish her a happy birthday! I’ll leave it to you if you share that you read it in the paper or if you are mysterious about it and leave her wondering how you knew. You’ll also have to wish Krissy a happy birthday, as hers is coming up on the 12th, which is a Thursday, so there definitely will be celebrations during our double pantry day. Cake too. There has to be cake.

What does celebrating birthdays have to do with United Way? Like most things, I can argue that it’s the heart of what we do — building relationships, celebrating, bringing a sense of community to our every day lives. Often I wish I had more time for the celebrations — not just of our individual selves but for us as a whole — for gathering up the successes of our programs and area nonprofits programs that we partner with. Last week, we partnered with Head Start for their registration day, opening the door and hosting a mini-resource fair for families to register for the Welcome Pantry, learn about programs with Albert Lea Parks & Recreation, the Albert Lea Public Library, Freeborn County Public Health and more. I enjoyed hearing the space full of people, and I wanted to celebrate that. I was waiting for the right moment to take a picture, but the end of the day came so quick, I forgot to do it!

This September, I challenge you to find someone and celebrate them. A special phone call on their birthday or another momentous occasion, a special treat, or just a heartfelt note. Choose someone that you don’t normally celebrate, and I promise you’ll make a difference. It’s the art of the surprise, of realizing that someone is thinking about you and putting the thought and work into appreciating them, celebrating them and caring for them. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we all just celebrated each other?

If you’d like to join our little “family in a good way,” give us a call at 507-373-8670 or visit our website at unitedwayfc.org to learn how to volunteer. As school starts back up, we are seeing a dip in our volunteers, so we have opportunities. Wednesday evenings seem to be a challenge right now, and our season’s only going to be busier as we get going on the Winter Gear Drive and other fall programming. Join us, help us celebrate each other and help us celebrate and connect our community.

Erin Haag is the executive director of the United Way of Freeborn County.