‘You’re not alone’: Walk to End Alzheimer’s honorary family shares their story
Published 11:03 am Tuesday, September 17, 2024
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Long before the official diagnosis in 2017, Gary Troe’s family saw signs that something wasn’t right.
As time went on, the simple things he used to do became challenging, like running a gas pump, using a remote control or forgetting how to cook. His sense of time became skewed, and he tried to go to work at a different time, thinking it was his normal time to begin — though it was hours away.
Troe, himself, would call his daughter, Renea Hagen, when he was struggling with something, and he recognized that things were slipping.
“He even said a couple of times, he’s like, I feel like I’m losing my mind,” she said. “That was one of the hardest things. It was so painful because he knew things were slipping and there was nothing we could do about it.”
In hopes of connecting with other families who have loved ones affected by Alzheimer’s disease, Troe’s family is sharing more of their loved one’s story in the upcoming Albert Lea/Austin Walk to End Alzheimer’s, which is slated to take place on Saturday starting at Frank Hall Park in Albert Lea.
Hagen and her daughter, Brandi Krenz, who are two of the members of this year’s honorary family, said though walking the road of Alzheimer’s disease is challenging, they want others to know they are not alone.
“It’s really touching to know you’re not alone,” Krenz said of the event.
Hagen said her father was the most generous person she knew, and throughout his journey of Alzheimer’s, they were thankful his kindness continued.
Troe worked for Winnebago Industries for 39 years, and as the disease progressed, one of the hardest changes for him was not going to work like he had done for so many years before, Krenz said.
“It was where he belonged; it was where his friends were,” she said. “It was what he was meant to do was work.”
Aside from work, Troe also liked to have fun and had a good sense of humor. Krenz joked that he was the one who sometimes had more toys than the children.
“He’d always, you know, if you want one scoop of ice cream, he’ll give you the whole gallon in the bowl,” she said. “If you had a present and he was in charge of wrapping, it would be duct-taped six times over.”
Krenz said she liked to call him Grandpa Blue Eyes because his eyes gleamed so bright, sometimes even with a little bit of mischief.
They said they knew things had advanced to the point where he could no longer live by himself when one day Hagen received a phone call from her father who was worried about how to get some people out of his house. Hagen said she could hear over the phone that he had his TV on, so she asked him if he could turn his TV off.
He turned off the TV, and then the sound went away. She asked him if the people were still there, and he said that they had disappeared.
He said he didn’t know where they went but he was worried about them robbing him and was ready to call the police.
Just after she thought she calmed him down, about 30 minutes later she received a phone call from a local policeman. Her father had turned his TV back on, and he thought the people were back and called the police.
From there, Troe traded between living with Hagen and her sister, and eventually he transitioned to an assisted living facility.
One day he walked out of the facility with some others who were working there, and he didn’t know how to find his way back. Hagen said she was able to talk him through directions to return to the facility and to get back in the door as she drove there. She arrived shortly afterward.
From there, he went to Hagen’s house before moving to Thorne Crest Senior Living Community’s memory care unit.
Krenz said she remembers how excited her grandpa would be every time they came to visit, but then by the time the visit came to an end, he fought at the door that he had to stay while they left.
“And then as time went on, you also grieved that when you left he didn’t do that anymore,” she said.
In April 2023, Troe broke his hip, and following his wishes the family declined any surgeries.
“He had always told us he didn’t want any surgeries,” Hagen said. “He kind of had a little bit of, I think, a little bit of a fear of doctors and stuff and being cut open and being under anesthesia. So he was always very adamant that he didn’t have any procedures.”
He ultimately passed away 11 days later.
Hagen said she will never forget the last day she went and visited him. She sat there and held his hand, and her father was pretty tired. When it came time for her to go, she leaned over and gave him a hug, and he sang a song that he would always sing.
“He was still there, you know,” she said.
Krenz said one of the best moments of her life was dancing with her grandfather at her wedding. At first he didn’t know where he was at and panicked because of all of the people on the dance floor, but he was able to be calmed down so they could dance.
“He kept hugging me, and he was laughing, and my great aunt tried to walk him out, and he was not going to leave my side. … That was one moment that you know, through the whole process, it’s like that’s all you can ask for is something that special,” Krenz said.
She said they were asked to be the honorary family for this year’s Walk to End Alzheimer’s by Amanda Irvine, who was part of the honorary family a previous year. They also got involved with the event committee, which they said has been therapeutic.
Though it’s easy to get frustrated along the journey of Alzheimer’s, Krenz encouraged families to try and embrace the changes as best as they can.
“Give yourself grace,” she said. “Give (your family member) grace.”
They also encouraged people to reach out and seek help from others during their journey and noted how families will be able to connect with other families at the walk.
“I think there’s hope for a cure,” Hagen said. “There was a time when they couldn’t cure cancer, and now they can.”