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Guest column by Teresa Huizar

The recently released Netflix series on the Menendez brothers reignited debate over whether a parent would overlook their child’s abuse at the hands of their spouse.

The sad truth is that these sorts of cases are far from unique or even uncommon.

A parent faced with the abusive conduct of a partner, family member or friend must confront the unthinkable — harm to their child and the worst possible betrayal committed by someone they perhaps considered to be their life partner, better half, or best friend. Parents should know that initial feelings of confusion, or even shocked disbelief, are not unusual.

But parents should also know that the decisions made in the immediate aftermath of such a revelation will have a lifelong impact. Rates of depression, PTSD, substance abuse and suicide are all significantly higher for victims of child sexual assault. A child’s trauma is only compounded if a trusted adult denies or minimizes the abuse.

To protect their child, parents don’t need to immediately believe every word they say. But they need to report the abuse, separate their child from the offender and suspend their own disbelief through the course of an investigation.

Often, those actions give parents the time they need to process the reality of what happened. But there are other pitfalls that may hinder a parent from supporting a child. It’s important for every parent and child advocate to be aware of these barriers and work to overcome them.

If the offender is the primary breadwinner in the family, the non-offending parent may panic over housing and financial stability. This is especially true in circumstances where the parent lacks a solid support system. Can they rely on friends or family? Or are they dependent on their child’s abuser?

Often, concerns about public image arise. A non-offending parent may worry at the prospect of losing their social and professional circles.

Experiencing child sexual abuse is a devastating trauma. And while a parent experiences their own form of psychological trauma upon learning their child was abused, the obligation to protect their child must always come first. The good news is that help is available for families navigating this excruciating time.

Experts working at Children’s Advocacy Centers nationwide play a pivotal role in ensuring that abused children and their caregivers receive the support they need. Professionals at these centers provide therapy, medical care and liaising with police —but also advice, like how to get the offender removed from the home and how to tell family, friends or teachers about what happened.

According to the CDC, an estimated one in four girls and one in 20 boys experience child sexual abuse. Its prevalence is believed to be higher because children often wait years to report abuse.

About 30% of victims have been sexually abused by a family member, while roughly 90% know their abuser in some way. Parents everywhere should take note, listen and learn.

A child’s disclosure of abuse is shocking, disturbing and life-changing. But supporting your child from the start is always the right thing to do.

Teresa Huizar is CEO of Washington, D.C.-based National Children’s Alliance (NCA), the nation’s network of nearly 1,000 Children’s Advocacy Centers, providing justice and healing through services to child victims of abuse and their families.