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Live United by Erin Haag

My little family and I packed up and traveled south to visit family for the holidays. I had full intentions of writing this article during the roughly nine-hour drive. In the early morning hours, I woke up, still wondering exactly what I wanted to write about. I starting thinking about the cliché stories this time of year, the New Year’s resolutions, plans for the future. It wasn’t quite gelling yet though. Eventually, my son woke up and was a little bouncy, so we snuck out of the hotel room and went down to breakfast. He sat across from me and cleaned an entire plate of eggs and toast, his favorite meal in the whole world. We talked about our plans for the day and the weekend, visiting family and friends to celebrate the holidays. He knew I planned on writing my article, and he says, “So, whatcha going to write about?” I ask him, “What do you think I should write about?” He says, “What? You mean you don’t have this all figured out yet?!” He then told me I should tell a story about him. I asked him how it related to my work. This evolved into a conversation about how and why I write the stories I do — to draw parallels to the work we do. We talked about how working at United Way or other nonprofit isn’t just a job, it’s a way of life, a philosophy of how we live in our community and take care of our neighbors. Thus, an article was born.

A 2021 interview with Dan Buettner, founder of Blue Zones, touched on the idea of purpose, one of the Blue Zones Power 9. The Power 9 are the nine lifestyle habits that are correlated with longer life expectancies. “Purpose is the convergence of values, passions, what you like to do, what you’re good at. Then, the important part, in my opinion, is there’s no purpose unless there’s an outlet for it.” Doesn’t that just speak to you deep inside? I love this perspective because it’s not one singular thing. It’s the convergence of things.

As my husband drove us across three states, I was a passenger princess, dozing the miles away but also watching some television on my phone. Long car drives are fantastic for that sort of thing.

I was watching a medical drama where a patient was telling the doctor that their sport was “their one thing.” Some people have lots of things, but he felt like he had this “one thing” and he couldn’t imagine a world where he wasn’t able to do it. I imagine there are many people in the world who feel like they only have one thing, one way of being. Professional athletes, musicians, world renowned research scientists or any other profession that takes an all-consuming singular focus on practice, pushing your body and mind to the limits. That singular focus brings such beauty and talent to the world, but it comes at a high cost. What do you do when that singular focus is taken away, by tragedy or the natural way of the world? We see it happen every day, perhaps not as clear of an example as a professional athlete, but impactful. Parents struggle with becoming empty nesters. Caregivers have to adjust after someone passes away. Retirement. This is where it’s important not to mix up goals with purpose, not to decide that your purpose is one singular thing. It’s about that convergence.

I’m a mother with a deep and abiding love for my children, but that’s not the sum of who I am. I enjoy photography, taking pictures of my children’s sporting events, converging my enjoyment of photography, my love for my children and the joy I find in watching them play. That’s still not the sum of who I am. I can tell stories. I’m passionate about community, about being there for others. I want to pass my values onto my children by example. What I love about my job, about the work that I do every day, is that I am able to merge all of these things into my daily life. It’s not just the work though — it’s about creating the working environment. It’s about supporting my team, supporting the volunteers so they can live their best lives with purpose. It’s about creating opportunities to give, to connect, to grow not only in their working environment, but in their personal lives, too. It’s about creating an environment where grandparents bring their grandchildren to volunteer, where my own children eat dinner before rushing off to a sports practice. My purpose isn’t United Way, or nonprofits. It’s not being a mother, a hobby photographer or a story teller. To be honest, I’m not sure what I would define “purpose” as for me, but I recognize it when it presents itself. Does it have a name? I’m not sure.

We currently have volunteers that are battling cancer, volunteers in active recovery from stroke, volunteers with traumatic brain injuries. We have volunteers that joined to make friendships, to keep busy after the passing of a spouse. We have high school students who have disabilities that come with support staff to learn and practice life skills, giving them opportunities to discover their purpose. We have volunteers who recently retired, that find themselves to be busier than ever, because they now have the time to pursue other interests. Maybe they’re looking for their purpose, maybe they have found it, and they’ve recognized that volunteering at United Way is one method of fulfilling their purpose. I take joy in the fact we’ve created a space and opportunity for our community members to explore finding their purpose.

What is your purpose? Do you know? Or is it elusive, but you know it when you see it? Do you have that convergence of what you’re good at, your values, your passions and what you enjoy?

They’re not always the same thing. I’m good at cleaning, but it doesn’t mean that I enjoy it! I challenge you to think about your New Year’s resolutions in the lens of finding your purpose. If you’re not sure what it is, I challenge you to get out there and volunteer. It might be a mentor for Stars Mentoring, or helping coach sports at the YMCA. Maybe you’ll be brave and volunteer to be on the board of directors or join one of our many service clubs. Maybe you’ll join me at the United Way, supporting the food pantry, or you’ll head up a new initiative at work. Step outside your comfort zone, and you might just find your purpose along the way.

Erin Haag is the executive director of the United Way of Freeborn County.