Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Nose for News by Sarah Stultz

I was notified Monday that my friend’s daughter passed away the night before.

I’ve known my friend since I moved to Albert Lea, and in the last year or two, her daughter has been sick with cancer. As the months went on, she progressively got worse until it became too much for her body to handle.

My friend’s children have meant everything to her. Though she and her daughter did not live in the same state, she always spoke highly of her and looked forward to hearing updates about her and her family.

Oh, how hard I knew this would be.

I was reminded of my own pain from losing a child. No matter the age of the child — whether they are an infant, a child or a grown adult — the pain is real.

Last week I met with a small group of other moms who have also lost children from our own community. These women are at various stages of their grief and come from different backgrounds, but we have all gone through a similar experience.

The holidays can be a difficult time for parents who have lost children or anyone who has lost a loved one.

It can be difficult to take part in Christmas traditions that you used to enjoy with your loved one — just now without them by your side.

It can be difficult to hang their ornaments on the tree or to hang their stockings alongside the rest of the family’s — I know it was for me the first few years after my daughter, Sophie, died.

The pain can be debilitating some days, and some days you’re numb. Other days, when things seem to be going well, you are struck with something out of nowhere that reminds you of your child and then the tears flow.

And all of that is OK.

To those who have experienced a loss and who are going through your first Christmas season without your loved one, please be patient with yourself. As human beings, we can be emotional people.

Don’t be afraid to speak about your loved ones and your memories of them over the years. Think about the fun things you did, the conversations you shared and the laughs you had.

And to those who have not experienced loss but who have friends who have — please don’t be afraid to bring up your friends’ loved ones. It will mean so much to hear their names and to know they are not forgotten.

Most importantly, don’t forget to keep the faith that you will see your loved ones again.

“The only way to take sorrow out of death is to take love out of life.” — Russell M. Nelson

Sarah Stultz is the managing editor of the Tribune. Her column appears every Wednesday.