Don’t you always feel better after crying?
Published 8:34 am Monday, September 22, 2008
Writer’s block, I have writer’s block this week. There are weeks when I can think of a thousand things to write about. OK, maybe a few dozen. There are weeks when I think about those few dozen things and don’t put them to paper right away. I then forget the thousand things or few dozen things that I thought about. This happens to be one of those weeks. I think it is called old age.
The only thing I can think to write about is crying. It could be the reason that crying came to mind this week is because I have been crying this week. OK, I admitted it. I do cry. I have been crying this week because I am happy. I have been crying this week because I have been sad. I have been crying this week because I have been mad. I have been crying this week because of injustice in this world. I have been crying this week because I have watched tear-jerker movies. I have cried with friends who were sad. I also have been crying this week for no reason. As you have gathered, this has been a crying week. I am not going to apologize for that. I always feel better after I cry. I feel stronger and I am always ready to move on.
Lesley Gore sang, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, I’ll cry if I want to. You would cry too if it happened to you.”
I think we should all follow her instructions. If you want to cry, then let it all out. It is OK to cry as long as you can quit crying at some point. If you can’t then it is time to ask for help.
Many songs were written about crying in the ’50s and ’60s. Some of them are: “Crying in the Rain,” “Don’t Cry For Me,” “All My Tears,” “Tears On My Pillow,” “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” “Crying,” to name a few. We loved those songs. They put words to our feelings.
I remember someone telling me once a long time ago that crying never solved anything. I tried to follow that advice when I was younger. I remember walking down the aisle after my dad’s funeral. I had been told that I had to be strong for my mom. I was pregnant, my dad died and I was being strong, no tears.
All of a sudden I heard someone crying. I heard someone sobbing her heart out. Where was it coming from? To my surprise, it was me. You see I had been being strong. At the most unexpected moment the dam broke and I could hold back my tears no more. It wasn’t what I planned. It wasn’t the way I chose to behave in public, it just happened beyond my control. I felt so much better afterward. I could then be strong. The advice I wish I would have received was, “Cry, let it all out.” Perhaps that would have been better then scaring everyone as I walked out of church.
I know we whine a lot, at least I do. But would we possibly whine less if we could have a good cry and get it all out?
A couple of movies I saw this weekend featured the main character sobbing on her friend’s shoulders. How many of us do that? When was the last time you sat down and let yourself have a good cry? When was the last time you let yourself cry with someone?
It’s OK if someone calls you a cry baby. It means that you have an outlet for your emotions. Maybe if we allowed ourselves to have a good cry we would have less anger and violence in the world. There is some part about crying that is healthy. My opinion only, I have no idea what the experts would tell you.
And for those men that sometimes read this column, it takes a strong man to show their feelings and cry. You are not weak if you cry. You are strong because you are not afraid to own what you feel.
I leave you with this paragraph before I go and weep some more:
Remember if “It’s My Party,” you can cry if you want to. Maybe I’ll see you “Crying In The Chapel.” If I meet you and you are “Crying in the Rain,” I will give you an umbrella and a handkerchief. “Don’t Let Your Teardrops Be Lonely.” It’s not true that if you “Cry,” “You’ll Never Cry Alone.” There might be “Tears On My Pillow” or even yours, but “As The Tears Go By,” for a while after the “Crying” there will be “No More Tears.”
“ Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”
— Unknown
“Let your tears come. Let them water your soul.”
— Eileen Mayhew
“The soul would have no rainbow had the eyes no tears.”
— John Vance Cheney
Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. E-mail her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net.