This is one of those weeks where I have several little ideas, but not enough of any one topic to form an entire column.

I’ll start out with an update. The last time I wrote a column like this, I mentioned that there is actually a celery-flavored soft drink out there. The more I thought about it, the more my curiosity grew. I ended up buying a six-pack of it, just to try it. I had to see just how bad it was. Surprisingly, the taste was not all that bad. It tasted kind of like a lightly-carbonated apple cider. However, the aftertaste was another story altogether. You know how sometimes when you hiccup or burp, and almost throw up? You know the taste in your throat when that happens? That’s what the aftertaste is like. I am fairly sure it will never pop up on my shopping list again. However, for those of you who do want to try it, it is called Dr. Brown’s Cel-Ray Soda, and is available in the grocery department of some Super Wal-Mart stores.

I also have another update. Last Tuesday evening, I finished the almost-final draft of the novel I’ve been working on for the past year and a half. I still have to proofread it, and make sure everything makes sense, but for all practical purposes, it is finished. The funny thing is that I was actually a little sad to finish it. I guess it’s kind of like a postpartum depression thing for writers, if that makes sense.

They had some deal going on out at Northbridge Mall this past weekend, kind of a preview of the Big Island Rendezvous thing held the first weekend of October every year out at Bancroft Bay Park. There is also the Renaissance Festival up in the Twin Cities, and we have our Eddie Cochran Days festival every year. I’d like to see a reenactment festival of biblical times. This would encompass approximately 4,000 years of history &045; from the creation of the world to the deaths of the Christian martyrs in Rome. I would find it interesting to see a reenactment of life as it was then. It would not be difficult to create period costumes, or to prepare period foods. We’d have to draw the line somewhere on reenacting the customs of the day, though. Animal sacrifices would be completely out of the question, as would be stonings and crucifixions. Performing miracles might be somewhat difficult to recreate as well, so there would be no parting the waters of Fountain Lake, or walking on Albert Lea Lake (no matter how polluted it is).

It’s funny how many things become obsolete over time. Take typewriters, for example. When I was in 10th grade, I learned how to type using an electric typewriter. One of the first things we learned in class was &045; and I’m not kidding &045; was the anatomy of the typewriter. You know that black roller part, that rolls the paper down into and up out of the typewriter? It’s called a platen. The only reason I remember this is because one of the kids in my class actually dismantled his typewriter and removed the platen, when the teacher wasn’t looking. Then he stood on his chair, and waved the platen around. By the time the teacher turned around, he was already in his chair, typing again. The point of this story is that the high school students who are learning how to type right now are most likely never going to know what a platen is, unless the high schools offer a typewriter repair class in their industrial arts program. This means that some of the information I learned in high school is now useful only while playing Trivial Pursuit.

I’ll end this column with another proposal for how things should be. You know what they should have? Besides the state’s Do Not Call list, they should make public a list of all people who are employed by telemarketing companies, and mail it to every address in the United States. That way, the rest of us can call them at home during supper, or any other time the mood strikes us. I bet the entire telemarketing industry would collapse in less than one month.

Dustin Petersen is an Albert Lea resident. His column appears Mondays.