Well, Tuesday is Election Day, and hopefully, there will be an impressive voter turnout at all the polling places in the area. Before the primary election in September, my column addressed the importance of voting. This time, I will address the issue of how to make the voting process a little more entertaining. Here are some of my suggestions to make elections more fun.

Install carnival-type games at the polling places. If voters were given the opportunity to pay $1 to dunk a mayoral candidate in a dunk tank or throw a pie at a county commissioner, voter turnout would reach an all-time high. Maybe we could make the voting process itself a bit of a challenge, as long as we’re going with the carnival theme (and face it, this election year has been a circus). Voters would have to climb a greased pole or a rope &uot;Jacob’s Ladder&uot; without slipping or turning upside down to reach the voting booth.

Have at least one race determined by some sort of physical challenge. For example, let the county recorder candidates compete in a basketball slam-dunk contest, or the school board candidates compete via demolition derby. In the event of a tie, the winner could be determined by loudest applause.

Add Pepsi Challenge-type voting. It wouldn’t help any candidates to be elected, but it would determine once and for all which cola is representative of Albert Lea and Freeborn County. Pepsi and Coke would most likely be the top two candidates, but some dissidents &uot;fed up with the two-cola system&uot; could possibly write in votes for RC, Shasta, or perhaps even Sam’s Choice. I suppose if we did that, though, there would be some anonymous committee suing for the use of county expenses to pay for the bottle deposit without a referendum.

Set up a bloodmobile at the polling places. That way the system could bleed you through taxes and through voting. In addition, you’d get two different stickers, juice and a cookie, and get to rest for a little while. It would be kind of like naptime in kindergarten.

Move the Ward Four polling place from Grace Lutheran Church to Holiday Lanes and call it the &uot;Bowl and Poll.&uot; Ron Sorenson and Jeff Fjelstad could be on hand for this one, bowling and meeting the residents of their ward. And who knows, maybe even Roger Bok would show up for old times’ sake, just to be a good sport. Ward Six residents could take a cruise on the Pelican Breeze with their candidates for &uot;Boat and Vote.&uot; Similarly, Ward Two could have &uot;Cruise and Choose&uot; on Fountain Lake.

Make a new ruling that, in the interest of lightening things up a bit, all candidates must choose a nickname, such as &uot;Leadfoot,&uot; &uot;Der Kommissar,&uot; &uot;Toots,&uot; &uot;Fat Louie,&uot; &uot;Guido&uot; or even &uot;Doc.&uot; To his credit, City Council Ward Six incumbent Al &uot;Minnow&uot; Brooks is already doing this. What do you think would encourage more voter confidence? Saying &uot;How are you today, Mr. Brooks?&uot; or, &uot;Hey, how you doin’, Minnow?&uot; I rest my case.

Produce a line of election-related souvenirs. Bobble-head figures of all the candidates would be kind of fun. They could even be sold in packages of two &045; incumbent versus challenger. Funds could be used for city, county, or school board expenses. District Four voters could help out the county, and for their donation, receive bobble-head figures of Truman Thrond and Dave Mullenbach. Ward Two voters could purchase Dave McPherson and Randy Erdman. Collect the whole set for your ward or district! Make the opponents do battle! The only problem with bobble-heads is that all they can say is &uot;yes,&uot; which would be an inaccurate representation of candidates who can only say &uot;no.&uot;

I think if we tried a few of these things, we could expect a 100 percent voter turnout. Incidentally, this column’s intent was not to make fun of any of the candidates, and should not be construed as such. It instead is meant to take the election process less seriously. I encourage everyone to vote Tuesday, and to have fun doing it.

Dustin Petersen is an Albert Lea resident. His column appears Mondays.