Across the Pastor’s Desk

By the Rev. Cherie Daniel

Congregational United Church of Christ of Freeborn, United Methodist Church of Alden and Grace United Methodist Church of Kiester

My son Robert celebrated his birthday recently. Actually, several of us celebrated it together! He is a successful adult with good friends. We all went out for a leisurely dinner together. One topic for discussion was a remembrance of what their parents had told of waiting for their birth.

I remember the confirmation of my pregnancy suspicions. Ecstatic is one word I would use to describe the feeling! I love babies. My job was caring for babies in a day care center. Having a child of my own would be a wonderfully fulfilling situation. Nine months seemed like a very long time to wait for this precious bundle to arrive.

Part of the joy of the experience of waiting was telling family members and friends about the surprise. My husband and I were both firstborns — and first marrieds — in our families of origin. Both sides were also very excited about this grandchild. While babies are born every day — thousands of them! — this one would be our very own.

And I began to wonder: what exactly did that mean? Our very own. How was this child going to be different from every other child ever born? What influence might we have over the life of this one child?

That was just it. On the one hand, we contributed the genetic structure of this child — so hair color and texture, eye color, nose shape and physical profile would probably be familiar. We would be able to answer early on whose eyes, whose nose, whose hair this child had inherited. Strangers would even be able to declare just which parent (or side of the family) this child resembled.

We could influence the intellect and personality of this child of ours. Providing books and art and music and language would help this child to be creative. Providing physical activity and outdoor exercise would help this child appreciate and protect creation. Providing a community from family to neighborhood to church to school would help this child know love and compassion and generosity and spirituality.

But, there is also a big part of any child over which we have no control. Just exactly how they interpret all of these stimuli is outside our sphere of influence as parents. Anyone who has raised more than one child in the same household knows this!

I used the waiting time before Robert’s birth to ponder all these things. I used the time when I was expecting to wonder just what it was that I was expecting — him to be, me to be as a mother, his father and I to be as parents, the world to be as the environment in which he would grow.

And when he was born, he was everything I had expected and nothing at all that I had expected. He was beautiful, of course. He was so very dependent, and yet so very self-willed. He liked some of the stimulation we offered and rejected others. I was never disappointed, yet constantly surprised at his effect on other people.

And so, in this time of Advent, I have been pondering what another young woman might have been thinking as she anticipated the birth of her child. Young Mary — not married, not gainfully employed, not of wealthy means or social influence — how would she tell her family? What would this child look like — the genetic contribution being only half-known. Having been told that her child was the son of God, what earthly stimulation could possibly fulfill the potential intellectual capacity of the one who created all creation? What could she and her community teach the author of life about love and compassion and generosity and spirituality?

Mary’s time of expectation was radically different than anyone else’s before her time or since. We can learn from her patience and forgiveness, persistence and wisdom, hope and trust. Her child, like any other child, would be influenced by the environment she provided and by all the mysterious elements within each human being that are part of creation’s design.

In this time of Advent, I encourage each one of us to ponder what this child will bring into our own lives. How do we prepare our hearts to receive such a gift? How do we tell the community of our expectations and hopes and dreams for this child? How will our lives will be affected/changed/transformed/renewed as we welcome new life into our homes? How will you embrace the birth of this holy child?