Valentine’s Day is three days away. I know what you are saying. “I already bought my present and this column is a little bit late to remind us of Valentine’s Day presents.”

Well, you are wrong! This column is for the men out there who actually wait until the last minute and know that a cool beer can holder with a fancy saying and a package of Brach’s chocolate-covered peanuts from the corner market is exactly what the little missus wants for her heart-shaped day! I know that if we had more time, we would buy you what you really need and would love to have, which is a new gun or a boat, but, hey, let’s leave that for the big day, Mother’s Day, because that is right around the corner in July or whenever.

This column is all about the perfect gift to tell your significant other that you love her and that you will stop at next to about 12 bucks to let her know this.

A prince of a guys guide to $12 Valentine’s Day gifts:

1. One ticket to the movies. This is so that after the movie, you can tell your significant other if she would like the movie you just saw. Women do not like movies unless they are about other women crying, so screening any movie and telling her about it is a good idea or gift. (Remember to also sneak a can of Mountain Dew into the movie because after paying for ticket, you will not have enough for a pop and still be able to stay under $12.)

2. Twelve items from the Dollar Store. That place is great, and they will even give you a gift bag — as long as you do not mind the gift bag saying Dollar Store on the side for free.

3. Six glacier donuts, a hot cup of coffee and a bag of beef jerky from any gas-and-sip place around. Guaranteed fewer than 12 bucks in any state!

4. A real nice box of wine or four bottles of Boone’s Farm. I would say that nothing says love like the words Strawberry Hill!

5. One game of bowling with shoes for your loved one and you.

6. Enough gas to take her for a nice car ride to New Richland and back. Sometimes a real nice ride in the car or truck with some good conversation is all she wants. If you run out of things to say, put in an eight track or cassette of “Air Supply” to spark up the mood.

7. A cool T-shirt that says “It is Valentine’s Day and all I got was this darn T-shirt.” She will like it because you are showing your humorous side.

I will now help you save money by making you a Valentine’s Day card: See Below and just cut on the dotted lines with scissors. (Do not run with scissors)

Tribune Publisher Scott Schmeltzer’s column appears every Thursday.