Dear progressive government, please let people have abortions at will, but I am opposed to having the death penalty for heinous crimes. That is just uncivilized.

Dear progressive government, take from them the Second Amendment. It’s scary. You don’t need guns. We have tough anti-gun laws to protect everybody. We have gun-free zones, too, but criminals don’t care so much about gun-free zones, or gun laws, but we will keep making more anti-gun laws so we don’t have to address the real issue of criminals. When your life is in danger, call 911 because help is minutes away when seconds count, but at least they will know where to pick up the remains after the crime.

Dear progressive government, make laws that assure no matter how much one person loves another person, persons, place and or things or animals that we have a right to be married. It’s my right to define marriage as I see fit; all others must accommodate me.

Dear progressive government, make laws that makes union workers unable to be fired for poor performance. In times of hardship in the economy they must have pay raises, Cadillac health care plans and no layoffs ever, even if the taxpayer is hurting. Let them run wild and destroy public property like they did in Madison, Wis., without being arrested and intimidate those who do not agree.

Dear progressive government, confiscate all money from others that make more than I do because I demand free stuff and somebody else needs to pay for it. Also, don’t worry about spending way more than you take in. The future generations will have to pay that bill. I want mine now!

Dear progressive government, make sure you help multi-billionaire George Soros, Media Matters and the mainstream media tell people the “government-approved truth.” We know what is best for them; it’s too hard for the common person to comprehend how progressive government works.

Dear progressive government, spend even more money on the poor. The War on Poverty has been a tremendous success resulting in more people dependent on the big government that I love. I also dislike the Bible and its teachings, I will continue to wage the war on it and that religion so that nobody is offended, but other religions are OK.

Dear progressive government, make a law to make it easier to steal elections by letting the dead vote. “Hey, they have rights too.” Make it possible for me to vote early and often because I know what is best. Please let them college kids vote twice, once where they live part-time at school and once at their home of record because they need the practice.

But, most importantly, big government, legislate, mandate and regulate. Tell the people what they may do with your permission and what they may not do, as common people are uninformed and need your ever-benevolent help to make the government-approved choices!

 

Randy Kruckeberg

Mankato