Angie Barker, Entertain Me

Springtime may traditionally be the season of rebirth and youth, but not in TV land. Here fall reigns as El Presidente supreme as the TV season wakes from its summer hibernation like a grizzly hungry for viewers. No worries though because I’ve come armed with my bear bell DVR and TV Guide map. Necessary tools if we are going to make it out of this with our cognitive abilities still intact, or at least able to set our DVRs to record. After extensive research (Which involved reading my Entertainment Weekly and watching previews while eating Hot Pockets. So okay, it wasn’t extensive but this isn’t a doctoral thesis. And Hot Pockets are delicious.) I have narrowed the selection of new shows down to one a day:

Sunday: “The Walking Dead” Premiere: AMC October 31st at 9 p.m. Like: “28 Days Later” + “Jericho”

The apocalypse has arrived and the living dead have taken over. That was all the information I needed to immediately YouTube this preview. I clapped excitedly halfway through and said, “Oh, we’re going to watch this!” I love me a good apocalypse. Zombies were the free shipping with a twenty-five dollar purchase.

Monday: “Hawaii Five-O” Premiere: CBS September 20th at 9 p.m. Like: “Bad Boys” in Hawaii “Moonlight” fans Mick St. John is back! “Battlestar Galactica” fans Boomer is back! “Lost” fans Jin is back. Do you need more reasons to watch this show? Fine, the theme song is back, but don’t be fooled, this is not your parent’s Five-O.

Tuesday: “Running Wilde” Premiere: Fox September 21st at 8:30 p.m. Like: “Two Weeks Notice” + Arrested Development”

Keri Russell is the liberal environmentalist with a daughter named Puddle. Will Arnett owns an oil company and does not have any children named after dirty rainwater that gathers in low spots. Or does he? Let the hilarity begin. In the political polarity of today it would be nice to laugh about it for a half an hour every week.

Wednesday: “Undercovers” Premiere: NBC September 22nd at 7 p.m. Like “Hart to Hart” + “Alias”

If you just read “Alias” and you’re heart started pumping then you should sit down because creator J.J. Abrams is the man behind “Undercovers.” Deep breaths, in and out. Husband and wife are CIA agents figuring out how to navigate marriage and international relations. Expect to see sultry looks sandwiched between explosions.

Thursday: “Outsourced” Premiere: NBC September 23rd at 8:30 p.m. Like: “The Office” in India.

This culture clash sitcom follows a newly trained call center manager to Mumbai. The joke is that they work for an American novelty company. You know the one. The magazine shows up in your mailbox every month even though you have never order a Hillary Clinton nutcracker or a ‘Department of Redundancy Department’ t-shirt.

Friday: “School Pride” Premiere: NBC October 15th at 7 p.m. Like: “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition” + “Dangerous Minds” – Michelle Pfeiffer ÷ Coolio

Friday night is TV’s elephant graveyard. It’s where mediocre shows go quietly into the night. “School Pride” has the heartbreaking back stories and swelling overtures of all great makeovers. They are going to change the educational system one school at a time. Let’s hope they start by repealing No Child Left Behind, but they are probably just going to paint.

Albert Lea resident Angie Zoller Barker’s column appears every Monday in the Albert Lea Tribune. Email questions, recommendations, or comments to entertainmecolumn@gmail.com.