Column: Something About Nothing, by Julie Seedorf

“I’m so excited. I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control, and I think I like it.”

When the Pointer Sisters sang those lyrics, I am sure they were referring to something totally different than this old lady.

It is the new television season, and I can’t wait! Yes, I love television, and I am not going to apologize for it. I have my DVR set to record “Dancing with the Stars,” the new “Survivor,” “NCIS,” “NCIS Los Angeles,” “Criminal Minds,” “Hawaii Five-O,” “Shark Tank,” “Blue Bloods,” “Love It or List It” and a few daytime shows. I am sure I will add more as the new shows popup in the listings.

It may seem a bit much. I never watch live television, and by recording my shows, I can watch them at my leisure without the annoying commercials. I can hear all of you being horrified, not only by all the television I watch, but by the violence of some of the shows.

When I watch a TV show, I marvel at the creativity of the stories. I do a little critique, and perhaps because I am a writer, I occasionally write an ending that I think would have been better. The gore does bother me and I find myself closing my eyes from time to time.

One of my favorite shows is “Dancing with the Stars.” I watched the first show this past week. I had mixed feelings when, according to the show, they switched things up a bit. It must have been broken, although I didn’t think so, for them to change the format. Change is hard for all of us, especially those my age and I did not like having all the dancers crushed together next to the judges. I missed the anticipation of the scores because they did them right away. I felt it was rushed.

Did I tell you I like anticipation? The mystery and the thrills would drag out in other years. Which couple is going to get a perfect 10? I also missed some of my favorite pro stars.

I like to watch “Survivor” because the dynamics of the characters are interesting to me. I like to watch the scenery and the wildlife that they focus in on with the show. They have changed it up, too, and it seems a lot less rugged than when it started. But who can tell what is real and what is fake?

I very seldom watch television during the day. It doesn’t interest me even on weekends. The main reason I watch is that it relaxes me and lets my mind go mush after a day of whirling thoughts and decisions. The hardest decision I have to make while watching television is which button to press on my remote. I don’t get carried away like nameless people in my family who can’t let the remote sit for seconds of time on the same channel. I gracefully and lazily and slowly move the buttons every hour or so.

Somewhere between 9 and 10 p.m., my eyes start to glaze over and my lids lower. At that time I know I am relaxed enough to shuffle to the bedroom to get a little shuteye.

Some people fall asleep reading. They could argue with me that I might consider reading instead of watching all the junk on television that corrupts my mind. The problem for me with reading a book is that there is always another page to turn. There is always another sentence lurking, drawing me in so that I can’t put down the book until I have finished it. I have been known to read all night. It is harder for me to put down the book than it is to turn off the television with the remote.

I suppose you could say I am addicted to television even though I only watch it in the evenings. It does put me to sleep. The truth is that I am addicted to watching Shemar Moore, Tom Selleck and Ted Danson.

What more can I say? I’ve traded my Robert Redford fixation in for Shemar, Tom and Ted. Sorry Robert. You didn’t call. Sweet dreams.

 

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net.