I decided to add a David Letterman “Top 10” spin to a few of the news items that have been floating around this week. I hope you enjoy them.

Top 10 things to do when you are stranded on the tarmac for many hours on a plane in Rochester, Minnesota, by Continental Airlines?

1. Think about what you would eat if you were allowed off the plane.

2. Think about what other smells are better than really small airplane toilets, sweat and the tension of 47 people.

3. Play the game “Where will I go with my free ticket because I have so enjoyed this flight with Continental Airlines.”

4. Consider yourself really lucky because this could have been the start of a real-life “Lost” episode.

5. Read Sky Mall and wonder who the hell orders this stuff?

6. Use the first-class passengers’ bathroom because at this point, there are no first-class passengers, just upset passengers.

7. See if you can see the world-famous Mayo Clinic from the windows.

8. Play 21 questions with, well, everyone. You have the time.

9. Read a book or five.

10. Wonder why the airline industry is in trouble.

Health carelessness

Top 10 things you might overhear at a local town hall meeting about health care reform?

1. Change scares me so I think I will disrupt this meeting with my limited knowledge on the subject and yell a whole bunch.

2. I am not a Canadian citizen, but I do love hockey!

3. That’s it. I am going to yell too because that is how America was formed.

4. I just came down here to see Lou Dobbs.

5. What, no free doughnuts! I am so leaving.

6. Am I allowed to live past age 80?

7. Where are the bingo cards?

8. My “cash for clunkers” car is parked outside. Can I have a voucher now?

9. I am missing “Big Brother 12” on TV for this?

10. Please, can I have a copy of the incomplete proposal that you want to get signed soon?

I’ll have a Favre, hold the cheese

Top 10 reasons Brett Favre came out of retirement now?

1. To prove Green Bay Packers General Manager Ted Thompson wrong.

2. To beat the Packers.

3. $12 million.

4. He did not have to go to training camp in Mankato.

5. He wanted a purple jersey with a 4 on it.

6. Mississippi is, well, Mississippi.

7. He has not been in the news in over a week.

8. He heard about the cool boat cruise the Vikes have.

9. The Vikes play indoors in winter.

10. Thinks Wrangler jean sales will be big at Mall of America.

Seriously …

To everyone who was at Freeborn County Relay for Life last Friday, great job! The amounts of money and memories that Freeborn County raises every year are amazing. To the Relay for Life committee: take a bow! To cancer: boo! I hope you are soon a memory.

I personally made it until about 1:30 a.m., but Clay Culbertson represented our team and made it until the 6 a.m. mark, so we completed another successful year!

Thanks to all who made it such a memorable night.

Tribune Publisher Scott Schmeltzer’s column appears every Thursday.