A Happy Medium by Erin Murtaugh

The following is an essay I wrote in high school that I feel relevant to my college life right now. I thought I’d share:

It’s 2 a.m. You haven’t slept a wink yet, and your paper is due at 9 a.m. Why did you wait until the last minute to start it? You’ve caught the nasty disease of procrastination.

Everyone’s done it in some way, shape or form. It can really bite you in the butt if you do it too much. It is one of those habits that is hard to overcome. Procrastination can be done in nearly any situation you encounter in life. Whether you’re working on homework or calling your mother, there’s almost always an opportunity to procrastinate. There are also many levels of procrastination, whether it be mild or severe.

I would consider myself a “pro procrastinator.” I procrastinate in almost everything I do, except when I am at my job because I don’t want to get fired. Ultimately, I use many strategies when it comes down to choosing my method of procrastination.

First, I ask myself a series of questions. Is this really worth procrastinating over? Most of the time, my answer is yes. How much time should be spent procrastinating? For me, it all depends on what I’m needing to get done. If it’s a simple homework assignment, I tend to just put it off until late at night or the morning it is due. If it is a larger project for school with an extended work timeframe, chances are I will put it off until a day or two before it is due and work on it right up until it is time to turn it in.

How should the procrastination be executed? This is where the procrastination truly begins. When thinking of a way to procrastinate, the clock starts to begin ticking. If you truly want to waste as much time as possible, take your dear time finding what you’ll do to procrastinate. It could be as simple as staring at the ceiling or as extravagant as throwing a wild party. Regardless of what you choose, choose something you enjoy to do.

My favorite method of procrastination is called napping. Not only does it help you put off what needs to be done, but it re-energizes you so that when you do wish to be productive, you can do so without being tired.

To start the napping process, go to your favorite place to sleep. Mine would be my bed. Lay down and get comfortable. I usually bring my dog with me and we curl up under a blanket. Set an alarm for the amount of time you wish to nap. For a short power nap, 20 minutes is usually a good amount of time to choose. Personally, I take long naps because I need the energy boost after spending all night staying up to get what I had already procrastinated on done. If you need music to nap, choose some calm, soothing music. At this point, close your eyes and breathe deeply. You should drift into a soft slumber.

When your alarm goes off, you have a few options on what to do next. Either hit the snooze button and keep napping, get up and find a new form of procrastination, or get up and start being productive. When I wake up, I’m usually hungry, so if you are too, you might consider making yourself some food.

Depending on how much more time you wish to spend procrastinating, you can either make a quick snack for yourself or an elaborate meal. If you’re not one to cook or prepare your own food, I suggest either going to a restaurant to get some food or having something delivered to you. Maybe a full three-course meal is what you need to make your procrastination complete. Take your time eating, and savor every bite. The most important part of this step in procrastination is enjoying your meal. If you ate your meal at home, you probably have some cleaning up after yourself to do. After all, you don’t want to leave a mess behind.

Doing the dishes is a good place to start cleaning. Maybe you dirtied up some pots and pans while cooking, along with the silverware you ate with. Make sure your stovetop and oven are clean, too. Did you use your countertop to prepare anything? If you did, you’ll want to wipe them down as well. If you used any towels to wash dishes with, this is a good time to put them in the laundry.

While you’re at it, you might as well wash any other laundry that needs to be done. After they’ve been washed and dried, it’s only right to take the time to fold them and properly put them away. Despite the fact that you just spent a lot of time cleaning up after yourself, you can take pride in your hard work cleaning.

Sooner or later, you should probably get to work on whatever it is you started procrastinating on in the first place. If you have followed these steps, chances are you’ve already spent a good portion of time putting it off. Once you’ve started working, it’s okay to take breaks on your work and procrastinate.

Now that you know the proper steps to procrastinating, you too could consider yourself a professional procrastinator. Consider yourself warned though, because procrastination is not for those who crumble under stress. Only procrastinate if you can handle the stress that comes along with it. Procrastinate wisely.

 

Albert Lea High School graduate Erin Murtaugh is a first-year student at Rochester Community and Technical College. She can be reached at murtaugh.erin@gmail.com.