An opinion is a judgment or belief that one holds as true. We give our opinion all the time. Those who know me and those who read my column know that I always have an opinion on something. Many of us will fight on the side of our opinion with words raging and gauntlets thrown down. Our opinion matters — or does it?

Recently I read an article in the Reiki News Magazine. I had picked up the magazine because I was curious about Reiki and wanted to learn a little more about it. The name of the article that caught my attention was “Reiki Clarifies Opinion” by Colleen Benelli.

Reiki aside, Benelli’s article gave me pause for thought on my opinionated self. Is my opinion truly my opinion or has my opinion on different subjects been handed down to me through the years by my parents, family, friends, culture and perhaps religion? Do my opinions come from my own beliefs deep in my heart or do I merely express and repeat opinions that were handed down to me from my past?

This article also explained the difference between destructive opinions and constructive opinions.

Does an opinion I have cause conflict? Is my opinion going to help a situation or is it going to be harmful and cause pain for someone else? Will my opinion make a difference to a situation or will it just make me feel better because I have vented? When is it a good time to keep my opinion to myself?

Wow, those questions hit me smack dab right in the center of my thoughts. I had never thought about the opinions I have formed or expressed to be anything but my thoughts on a particular subject, but as I pondered where my opinions had been formed, I knew that many of the opinions I have probably expressed over time were not from my true self. I knew that many of the opinions I have expressed over time were not helpful but possibly harmful because of the way I expressed them. And if that was the case, then I should not have expressed my opinion at all.

We throw our opinions around right and left. We leave our opinion on websites and in print after articles we have read, many times leaving others feeling angry and hurt. Do we feel better after we have entered in an altercation about our opinion? Was stating our opinion more about winning the battle of being right and coming out on top more than the subject of the opinion?

We spend so much energy expressing our opinions in situations where that expression is not going to make a difference to the outcome. So why do we waste all that energy and ire expressing opinions that are not going to make a difference in any given situation? What would happen if we let it go and used that energy for living our lives doing something that does matter?

We even express our opinion on topics that we actually know nothing about — but if we talk long enough and loud enough others either give up, or they actually think we know what we are talking about. I am very good at chatter clatter.

Sometimes there does have to be conflict in a conversation but only if that conflict is necessary to affect a change for the better. Of course, that may be depending on whose opinion you are listening to.

My thought processes were spinning after reading this article. I am not very careful about expressing my opinion, and I am not sure my opinion is always my own. For instance, when it comes to politics, am I a Democrat or a Republican because of what is inside of me or because of opinions handed down to me. When it comes to religion and the conflict in my church, am I forming my opinions because of what the Bible says, what beliefs were handed down to me or what I truly feel inside of me?

Benelli tells us to ask ourselves these questions: Does this opinion belong to you? Does it help you or anyone else? Does it create solutions? Does it cause conflict? Does it make you right and the other person wrong? Does it really matter? Are you repeating someone else’s opinion without really thinking? What would happen if you did not express your opinion?”

Those are just a few of the questions Benelli poses to her readers.

Now here is my opinion. I need to think more before I express my opinion. I need to ask myself some of these questions before stating my opinion. I also need to ask myself this question: Do I always feel good about myself when I express an opinion? If the answer is no then that might have been an opinion I should not have expressed unless it was in a tough love situation or a situation that needed to be addressed to affect change. Perhaps if I do this and release my need to express opinions that are not important I will have less anxiety and more peace.

What about you? How do the opinions you express change your life or someone else’s?

“The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell the truth that is in us, and from motives of policy are silent when we should speak, the divine floods of light and life no longer flow into our souls.” — Elizabeth Cady Stanton, 1890, U.S. suffragist (1815-1902)

“Nothing is more conducive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all.” — Georg Christoph Lichtenberg (1742-1799)

“Risk! Risk anything! Care no more for the opinions of others, for those voices. Do the hardest thing on earth for you. Act for yourself. Face the truth.” — Katherine Mansfield, New Zealand short story author (1888-1923)

“The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinions” — James Russell Lowell, American poet, critic, essayist, editor and diplomat, 1819-1891

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send e-mail to her at thecolumn@bevcomm.net .Her blog is paringdown.wordpress.com. Listen to KBEW AM radio 1:30 p.m. Sundays for “Something About Nothing.”