I am a very opinionated person — at least about some things. Most of the time, the subjects I have a strong opinion on are not on anyone else’s radar. I get strange looks that say, “Who cares?”

“Smile, you’re on Candid Camera.” If you’re an oldie but goodie like me, you will remember the show where host Allen Funt would surprise people by secretly recording their reactions to certain situations. It was a hilarious show. Little did we know that in the year of 2015 we would be on camera practically everywhere we go.

We have accepted that we are on camera as we walk down the street in large cities. We can be on camera from other’s cell phone videos that we don’t know are being recorded. I guess you could call that the modern day candid camera, except no one eventually tells you that you are on candid camera until something you did and was recorded goes viral on the Internet.

We forget that we are on camera when we are shopping in stores, eating at restaurants and praying at church. We are always being watched.

So here’s my opinion. I dislike being recorded at church. It might just be a blip on the screen when we walk up to take communion. It might be a glance at our back as we are raising our voices in song. It might be a full on shot. How do we know?

I understand the thought of live streaming and taped church services. It is a useful tool for those who can’t make it to the services. And most of us at the service forget we are being recorded until someone reminds us. “We saw you crying during the church service today, is everything all right with you?”

Therein is my dilemma. Yes, I cry at church. I cry because I am happy, sad or something touches me deeply. In the midst of those around me who usually aren’t paying attention to me, I can have a private moment in in a quiet, spiritual place. Unti someone mentions it to me the next day. Somehow I feel we need somewhere safe, away from cameras to grieve, celebrate and pray.

My alternative is to attend a church service which is not being recorded and those are getting harder to find. The thing is, I don’t know if I am going to laugh or cry or sleep during services. I forget when I walk in those doors that someone might see what I am doing in church.

I never think of the camera when I go to wipe my nose. I wonder what the nose picker might think if I asked them the next day when I saw them on the street what was wrong with their nose in church. Cameras in church are a good way to see what your hair actually looks like, or if your attire was put together right. You might have looked good in the mirror at home, but if you have any doubt, you can check the church service at communion time to see if your opinion still holds, or if you need to ditch that outfit and put it in the trash bin or find a new beautician.

Have you ever had someone say to you the next day, after catching a glimpse of you on television or the Internet during the church service, “Must have been a boring sermon, you were sleeping during church?”

I wonder how many people actually watch the church services because they want to see the church services or because they want to find out who was there.

I have already stated why I do not like church services being recorded. It catches me doing things that I might not want other people to see while I am at church. I, too, have been accusatory of people with their eyes closed during the service. But all of what you see on that camera is not what is happening.

I do have my eyes closed in church at different times during the service. I am not sleeping. I close my eyes to hear what I may not hear if my eyes are open. I am a visual person and am easily distracted.

There are many things going on during a church service. When I hear a hymn that moves me, I close my eyes so I can hear and pray about the words. I close my eyes during a sermon because it is easy to distract myself in the lights and read my bulletin, watch other people, and let the sermon wisdom drift away into the distractions. I close my eyes going up to communion or during communion so I can concentrate on the cross and not the movement of the worship team standing and singing behind the communion servers.

If I close my eyes I hear more clearly and feel more deeply. It might look as if I am sleeping, but my heart hears what my eyes can’t see.

A few years ago I wrote some Lenten services for my church. The entire service was done in darkness with only lights on the cross. The voices came out of the darkness. It was a time of quietness and reflection. It was time to hear and concentrate on the sounds.  That is what I do when I close my eyes in church.

My advice to those who watch that camera that is recording that church service, and you see the nose picker, the unkempt hair or clothes or the sleepy person in the pew, look beyond what you see. The camera only tells part of the story, no matter whether you are in church, on the street or watching that surprise video of someone you don’t know. The camera may not be really all that candid.

 

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every Monday. Send email to her at hermionyvidaliabooks@gmail.com. Her Facebook page is http://www.facebook.com/julie.seedorf.author.