Across the Pastor’s Desk by Nancy Overgaard

As graduations near, I think of all the choices grads will make and hope they will make good ones. As a chaplain at Fountain Centers, I see the unhappy aftermath of regrettable choices. What looked like fun and freedom at the time quickly became the source of heartache and heartbreak.

As I sit in the chapel with young adults taking moral inventory on the other side of those choices, I grieve with them for friends already in the grave and for their own close shaves; for wrecked relationships and ruined reputations; for regret and remorse; for criminal rather than college records.

I grieve all the more for the middle-aged, with missing teeth and decrepit bodies, the unexpected outcome of prolonged drug and alcohol use. I grieve with them for the income that vanished like smoke along with dreams and opportunities, for houses lost and marriages broken, and so many missing years.

I long, as they do, for the next generation to consider carefully their choices so as not to have regrets. The writer of Proverbs wanted the same, urging readers to contemplate choices and consequences so as not to realize too late: “How I hated discipline! How my heart spurned correction! I would not obey my teachers or listen to my instructors. I have come to the brink of utter ruin.” (5:11-14, NIV)

A recent devotion by Jennifer Benson Schuldt (Our Daily Bread, April 12, 2016) reminded me of a flower I once found fascinating. The Venus flytrap lures its victims in with attractive, sweet-smelling nectar, only to close in on them suddenly, trapping and devouring them. What an apt description of the allure and impact of drugs and alcohol, the reckless relationships that accompany their use and the crime that inevitably follows. Trapped by their choices, many struggle to get out, and some never do.

As a young adult, myself, I wondered, “God, if you are so loving, why do you say no to drugs, no to alcohol, no to promiscuous relationships?” No one told me he did. I just supposed it was so. At the time, I was not even sure I believed in God. But, I received an answer. As quickly as I conceived the question I sensed God saying, “It is because I love you,” and reminding me of a scenario.

Days before, I had been tasked with watching my 2-year-old nephew run around his large, rural yard. With plenty of room to run and play, he found it most fascinating to run up the hill leading to a busy highway above. Time after time I pulled him back down the hill away from the dangerous road. He was not happy with my restriction, but I did it out of love, not wanting him to be hit by a truck or car.

I got it. In the same way, God sees dangers we do not foresee. He knows better than we the choices that will lead to devastating consequences. If we will trust and follow him, he will save us all kinds of painful consequences in life. He allows plenty of freedom to make choices that will lead to a good outcome and a fulfilling life; but he has set boundaries for our own good. The Proverbs are meant to help us learn to anticipate and avoid unhappy outcomes, ourselves, and I highly recommend them.

Living in Israel, I worked with a 7-year-old who was incredibly bright and creative. As a chaperone on his class trip, I was amazed by his intelligence and energy as he pointed out landmarks all along the way. The same boy refused boundaries, defying rules and dodging discipline. Exasperated with him one day, in faltering Hebrew, I likened him to a river without banks. All of that energy, spilling out all over would go nowhere. With reasonable boundaries, like a fast flowing river, he would go unbelievably far in life.

The Psalmist wrote: “As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the Lord is tried. (Psalm 18:30, KJV) By another version, “The word of the Lord proves true.” (ESV) I hope you will try it!

 

Nancy Overgaard is a member of the Freeborn County Ministerial Association.