“I think we all knew deep down inside what Gracelyn’s first words would be,” I said to my wife with a bit of a smirk. Over the last few weeks, our daughter has been muttering nothing but “dada” repeatedly, and I could not be happier. My wife, however, is a bit jealous.

It was a rather slow Friday at work when I received a video message from Sera of our daughter playing on the floor. I quickly starting watching, as normally we only text photos back and forth, and to my surprise our little munchkin was very clearly repeating “dada” over and over again. I responded to my wife’s message by saying, “Seems like Gracie really misses me.” It may not have been the nicest response, but these past few days have largely been filled with comments from me that allude to our daughter knowing that saying dada refers to me, instead of just a noise she is making. In fact, we haven’t even been referring to myself as dada. When Sera and I chose our names, she went with Mama and I went with Dad. I figured that would mean I’d lose the first-word battle, but I was willing to give that to my wife. Gracelyn just wasn’t willing to cooperate.

My wife begrudgingly shared the exciting first-word news on Facebook, but couldn’t resist reminding everyone about the 35-hour labor she endured only to have our baby girl not say “mama” as her first word. I’m not sure if Gracelyn will ever overcome my wife’s lamentation over 35 hours, and perhaps that’s appropriate. Years from now, I’m sure Sera will still use the 35 hours of labor excuse to have the last ice cream bar in the freezer. I’ll continue to let her win that battle.

The truth is, before Gracelyn started with “dada,” there was no clue words were on the horizon. Consonants were not being uttered between our daughter’s mumbles, so I assumed we were still pretty far off from hearing those precious first words. Even more surprising was her repeated use of dada over and over again. The very next morning, Sera and I awoke to hearing Gracelyn over the baby monitor very intently saying, “Dada! Dada!” My heart swelled and Sera’s eyes rolled.

My wife is, after all, excited that Gracelyn is talking. She’s just a little strung out because “mama” is still missing from the vocabulary. We all practice saying, “mama” every day, but not a lot of progress has been made. (I also practice with Gracelyn to say, “dada,” just in case she were to forget. So far, so good.)

The only reason dada rose to the top of the words game was the appearance of two little teeth deep inside Gracelyn’s gums. Her fussiness leading up to dada-day had us once again hopeful that teeth would be arriving soon, but we’d been chasing that hope for weeks now and couldn’t see or feel anything. Then, finally, we could see the future pearly whites beneath the surface of Gracelyn’s gums. The appearance of that duo led to our little girl exploring the use of her tongue in new ways, which eventually led to me being declared the favorite parent. (If you ask her, she’ll say dada!)

There is some argument floating around that dada is easier to say and that it’s a not a fair competition. The number of moms who posted on Sera’s Facebook page after she shared the video of Gracelyn speaking certainly spoke to that. Apparently many children are just waiting to disappoint their mothers by uttering “dada” before all other words. Whether children are predisposed to say one word or another, thankfully they usually end up being able to call out to the important people in their life sooner rather than later.

As important as a first word is to us as parents now, it’s what words Gracelyn will espouse when she is grown that will be far more important. We shouldn’t let our focus be solely on saying “dada” and “mama” when we have more important words to teach her in the coming years like “compassion,” “kindness,” “humility,” “sorry,” and “grace.” The words and values she holds dear to her heart will make me far prouder than the first words she utters.

Hopefully we can all be proud of the words we currently identify as our values. I’ve always known words matter, but as a father of a little one just beginning to speak, I’m beginning to better understand that on a new level. We should all strive to use the vocabulary that represents the people we want to be.

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.