Things I Tell My Wife by Matt Knutson

“Why are they being so obnoxious?” I asked my wife while we were stopped at a red light. I think we have all experienced what I am about to describe to you, but I want you to remember that if we have all experienced it, we have all likely done it at some point.

The scene begins with you stopping at a red light in the right turn lane, and another vehicle approaches parallel to you, stopping at the light in the lane to go forward or perhaps to turn left. So far, so good, right? Being at a location where it is legal to do so, you prepare to turn right at the red light as no pedestrians or vehicles appear to be approaching. However, as you edge out a bit to improve your view of traffic, the car in the lane to your left does the same thing, limiting your visibility and destroying your dream of turning right on red.

You may not be as annoyed with this as I am, but it happens all too often to me during my commute to and from work. What possible reason could there be for the other vehicle to pull forward? They can’t turn left or go straight at the red light. They are stuck there, waiting out the clock like the rest of us have to do. Stuck, unless you’re in the right lane and able to turn at a red light, of course. Instead of letting someone take advantage of that opportunity, these drivers continue to inch their way forward.

It also isn’t typically just a single lurch forward that these other-laners are doing to prevent me from happiness. No, instead they keep slowly moving forward, following my reaction to move forward a bit more. Every opportunity I had to ensure I could safely turn right was squandered from me as I attempted to adjust the vehicle to better see oncoming traffic. Why are they doing this to me?

I think at the heart of the matter, it speaks to our impatience. Perhaps the other-laners keep pulling forward because they think if I get to move, surely they deserve to move as well. I’ve even seen other cars start to fully move forward into an intersection as I begin to turn right, assuming that if I am moving, it must be a green light for all of us. That of course isn’t the case.

We’re all impatient, after all, that’s why I’m attempting to turn right at a red light. I’m too impatient to wait the minute or two average length of red lights for the elusive green to appear. I wonder what’s causing this impatience. Realistically, we’re all moving faster than before. Technology behind traffic lights and scheduling is improving all the time, and our vehicles sure have hastened our pace over the horse-drawn carriage days.

Speed, however, isn’t often measured by if we’re going faster than we were the day before. Instead, we measure it moment by moment. We’re going through the blur of life thinking about how to escalate our productivity and happiness without consideration of how we may be getting in the way of someone else.

It’s easy to sit in the lane that’s not turning when you’re at a red light. You’ve been given permission to stall, press pause until the intersection changes your way. That gift of time is often internalized as a great inconvenience or a time to zone out before returning to use the vast brain power required to operate a motor vehicle. We rarely continue to engage our minds around the process of driving while at a red light where we could be more diligent about observing oncoming traffic, pedestrians, bicyclists and more.

If you’re reading this and find yourself fortunate enough to drive a car, please consider engaging deeper when you drive from now on. Signal even if you’re already in the turn lane, be patient when a pedestrian is crossing and give some space between you and the car in front of you. It’s impressive just how cautious people drive just after the first snowfall as they’re worried about both causing an accident and being in one. Let that be a model for how you drive year-round. If you’re not thinking about how your driving impacts someone else, your actions may just be obnoxious to the other cars you meet, like mine.

Rochester resident Matt Knutson is the communications and events director for United Way of Olmsted County.